It's that day of the year again. Yes, the last day of December, the last day of the year and usually people will come up with new year resolution and such. Well, I used to do that. This year somehow, let's make it subtle and real. Rather than overlooking the whole year, I wish to divide it into short term goals. LOL. And for year 2011, I won't ask a lot from myself and people around me.
1) I wish to stay healthy the whole year. I hate to be sick all the time. Which means, I promise to take care of myself and I promise I will eat. hahaha!!! Yes I promise.
2) I want to make a huge turn before June 2011. Which means, I wanna do something big. I've had enough of being a midget. Not that I'll grow tall or anything of that sort lololol~, that would be a wonder.
3) I want to make amend. Especially to him. I wish that things will go back to how it used to be. That would mean a lot to me because I missed all the things we shared and the time we spent together, although it's intangible because I can't seem to forget it all and pretend it never happened. (If you're reading this, I hope you'll forgive me for everything. You know who you are)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Out of sight, Out of mind?
My mother usually says something like "Out of sight, out of mind" when she talks to me over the phone, especially when I am far, far, far away from home just because she doesn't want me to feel sad or homesick. She said, chanting it everyday and planting it in my head would give me positive feedback so I can actually focus on the things I should be focusing on and not be distracted by petty things like missing my cat or missing my bed or my loved ones.
NOT A POTTY ONE BUT YET ANOTHER EMO ENTRY OTZ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
So this thing happened to me 3 days ago where it almost killed me inside. I thought it did. I've been suffocating and wrapped in this vacuum-like confusion for almost a month now. Walking on a narrow fence, thinking which side to fall to. I never dare to pull the trigger because I don't want to lose what I hold dear but somehow the other side cut loose. Without any explanation. Without telling me why. I was too shocked to think and react. I didn't know why the other side did that. We did sorta have a small argument, not even an argument I think. I stopped questioning. I finished the whole thing with just one statement "Sou...". Yup. Just "Sou..." and the other side had to justify themselves. Why... If you did not do that, the argument wouldn't have break and we would still be at peace wouldn't we?
And so the other side found the shortest solution. Just like someone I knEw from long ago who also did the same thing to me. Blocked/Deleted me from contacts. Is it me or this is ONE FAMOUS GODDAMN SOLUTION? So you think this solves everything?
I don't wanna go through this again after the first time. BUT IT REOCCURRED. Funny isn't it?? If you talk about KARMA, I never once EVER DELETED A GODDAMN SOUL in my contacts. NEVER. It makes me think that people are morons. Real people are morons and selfish being. Some people don't like to be appreciated and they probably hate it that you're being concerned, affectionate towards them. It's not troublesome. It's not annoying. It's not irritating. Only those with a stone heart would think so.
So back to, "Out of sight, out of mind". I believe my mother's theory doesn't work on me. Even when the other side is 'out of sight' they still remain in my brain. I tried suppressing it for 3 days. I cracked the shell last night. I admit that I miss the other side but there is nothing I can do about. It's up the them.
NOT A POTTY ONE BUT YET ANOTHER EMO ENTRY OTZ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
So this thing happened to me 3 days ago where it almost killed me inside. I thought it did. I've been suffocating and wrapped in this vacuum-like confusion for almost a month now. Walking on a narrow fence, thinking which side to fall to. I never dare to pull the trigger because I don't want to lose what I hold dear but somehow the other side cut loose. Without any explanation. Without telling me why. I was too shocked to think and react. I didn't know why the other side did that. We did sorta have a small argument, not even an argument I think. I stopped questioning. I finished the whole thing with just one statement "Sou...". Yup. Just "Sou..." and the other side had to justify themselves. Why... If you did not do that, the argument wouldn't have break and we would still be at peace wouldn't we?
And so the other side found the shortest solution. Just like someone I knEw from long ago who also did the same thing to me. Blocked/Deleted me from contacts. Is it me or this is ONE FAMOUS GODDAMN SOLUTION? So you think this solves everything?
I don't wanna go through this again after the first time. BUT IT REOCCURRED. Funny isn't it?? If you talk about KARMA, I never once EVER DELETED A GODDAMN SOUL in my contacts. NEVER. It makes me think that people are morons. Real people are morons and selfish being. Some people don't like to be appreciated and they probably hate it that you're being concerned, affectionate towards them. It's not troublesome. It's not annoying. It's not irritating. Only those with a stone heart would think so.
So back to, "Out of sight, out of mind". I believe my mother's theory doesn't work on me. Even when the other side is 'out of sight' they still remain in my brain. I tried suppressing it for 3 days. I cracked the shell last night. I admit that I miss the other side but there is nothing I can do about. It's up the them.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
.... toriaezu Sayonara ....
WARNING: THIS POST IS FULL OF POTTY LANGUAGE. KEEP READING IF YOU FEEL BEING MINDFUCKED IS EQUALS TO EATING ICE CREAM. THANK YOU. AGAIN. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I'm currently very free from work and task. Although I may seem free everyday but trust me, I'm NEVER free. I'm always working, doing coding, cracking my head on Java shits and stored procedures. Like all the time. People see me tweeting every minute and thought all I do all day is tweet (that might be true but...), well, unlike some people, no matter how fucking busy I'm with work, I have time for everything and everybody else. And of course, I need distractions to keep me awake all afternoon. So thanks twitter, tweeples and Olympians for hangin' out with me on twitter lately. Kansha shimashita. I'm gonna be away from twitter and other social networking/im(s) for some self-reflection/realization trip (which was intercepted not too long ago, because I was a fool, and I got carried away by the thing they call fling. Trust me, it WAS the most beautiful thing until you realized that it was TOO GOOD to BE TRUE). I actually don't feel like posting anything on the blog either because I'm still in "Upset-mindfucked-used-abused-hated-unwanted-ignored" mode. This would probably be a self-centered, depressing, fugly, cruel, crappy, shitty, assholic, potty post I've ever done so far, so please... bear with me, if you're reading.. that is.
So, you must be wondering "Why?" or "What's up?" or "what the hell happened?" or shits like that. Or maybe you don't give a fuck either like most people because, my existence is like a tiny stem of dandelion's florets. There are many reasons to why I'm being like this recently. One would be being "stagnant". Stagnant in the sense of not moving at all, in whatever state of being. Be it life, cashflow, career, friendship, relationship (doesn't have to be lovers =_= it can be any relationship, family, friends, colleagues, bosses, just to name a few), environment, life (oh did i mention that already?) sigh. But that's not really the real reason to it. That's just some part of it. The things that I realized have changed in me were my state of mind(over-analyzing things), my emotion (being too fucking sensitive) and my stoicness (has gone down the gutter!)
Until a week ago, right after my birthday, I've had the shiniest soul on the planet. I was the happiest midget in the universe, I was the girl who would laugh and smile everyday for no reason at all. I was the girl who would be happy if sadness comes around ONLY by having that particular thought in mind. I was the girl who would stare at blankness just to recall the things that was said to me previous nights before. I was the girl who would sleep at 7.30pm just to stay awake from 12am til morning for that one reason alone. I was the girl who would go to work looking like a dead zombie bride but with that little cheer on my face, I looked more like a baby panda. I was that girl who slept on top of my laptop just to wait for that "POP" on my IM in the middle of the night. I was that somebody I wanted to be for the longest time. The Happy Girl.
After some time, everything faded. To me at least. Things went from warm, fuzzy, yellowish, daisies and sunshine to cold, frosty, dark blue-ish, snowy winter. I have no idea why I feel this way, but I've faced this more than a gazillion times in this 26 years. I know how it works and what to expect. Somehow, I just can't handle it anymore. Everything was too good to be true and it's like the banner you see on a sale, "For Limited Time Only".
Maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I do over-analyze things. But I know when I'm not wanted. I just want to be told that's all. If I'm invading someone's life, I just want to be told. If I'm too close and if I made them uncomfortable, I just want to be told. I might (maybe, I'm not really sure how to put this, because, I'm not an expert in this department) 'like' the things that's been going on, and to me, it's totally misleading. I want the truth. Not cover up. No sugary layers.
I've had enough of being Athrun Zala! I've always been an Athrun to everyone. IT FUCKING SUCKS! Once in a while I want to be a Kira or a Setsuna or a Lelouch or a Luffy. I've always put everyone above me but have I been appreciated for what I've done? NO. Have I changed after I realized how damning and cruel it is for me? NO. And have I stopped putting people that I care about above me when they don't fucking care about me? NO. I have never stopped caring.
Ok. This shall end here. In the end, I'm still lost. I don't know what to do and I will keep on growing mushrooms in my bedroom until I rot. I've been so emo lately, I really don't know why.
The one thing I know for sure and the one thing I don't want to fluctuate or be stagnant is, this feeling I have towards that one particular reason. The only reason I still have to believe that everything happen for a reason and it's all good. And as much as I'm being upset with whatever that's been happening in which to that reason is nothing, but to me is something, my mind will never change.
Forgive me for being such an ass these days. For being Immature. For being Impatient. For being such a baby. For being such an annoying existence. For being irritating. For being troublesome. For not being understanding. For being a horrible person. Hontou ni gomen nasai m(_ _)m
I'm currently very free from work and task. Although I may seem free everyday but trust me, I'm NEVER free. I'm always working, doing coding, cracking my head on Java shits and stored procedures. Like all the time. People see me tweeting every minute and thought all I do all day is tweet (that might be true but...), well, unlike some people, no matter how fucking busy I'm with work, I have time for everything and everybody else. And of course, I need distractions to keep me awake all afternoon. So thanks twitter, tweeples and Olympians for hangin' out with me on twitter lately. Kansha shimashita. I'm gonna be away from twitter and other social networking/im(s) for some self-reflection/realization trip (which was intercepted not too long ago, because I was a fool, and I got carried away by the thing they call fling. Trust me, it WAS the most beautiful thing until you realized that it was TOO GOOD to BE TRUE). I actually don't feel like posting anything on the blog either because I'm still in "Upset-mindfucked-used-abused-hated-unwanted-ignored" mode. This would probably be a self-centered, depressing, fugly, cruel, crappy, shitty, assholic, potty post I've ever done so far, so please... bear with me, if you're reading.. that is.
So, you must be wondering "Why?" or "What's up?" or "what the hell happened?" or shits like that. Or maybe you don't give a fuck either like most people because, my existence is like a tiny stem of dandelion's florets. There are many reasons to why I'm being like this recently. One would be being "stagnant". Stagnant in the sense of not moving at all, in whatever state of being. Be it life, cashflow, career, friendship, relationship (doesn't have to be lovers =_= it can be any relationship, family, friends, colleagues, bosses, just to name a few), environment, life (oh did i mention that already?) sigh. But that's not really the real reason to it. That's just some part of it. The things that I realized have changed in me were my state of mind(over-analyzing things), my emotion (being too fucking sensitive) and my stoicness (has gone down the gutter!)
Until a week ago, right after my birthday, I've had the shiniest soul on the planet. I was the happiest midget in the universe, I was the girl who would laugh and smile everyday for no reason at all. I was the girl who would be happy if sadness comes around ONLY by having that particular thought in mind. I was the girl who would stare at blankness just to recall the things that was said to me previous nights before. I was the girl who would sleep at 7.30pm just to stay awake from 12am til morning for that one reason alone. I was the girl who would go to work looking like a dead zombie bride but with that little cheer on my face, I looked more like a baby panda. I was that girl who slept on top of my laptop just to wait for that "POP" on my IM in the middle of the night. I was that somebody I wanted to be for the longest time. The Happy Girl.
After some time, everything faded. To me at least. Things went from warm, fuzzy, yellowish, daisies and sunshine to cold, frosty, dark blue-ish, snowy winter. I have no idea why I feel this way, but I've faced this more than a gazillion times in this 26 years. I know how it works and what to expect. Somehow, I just can't handle it anymore. Everything was too good to be true and it's like the banner you see on a sale, "For Limited Time Only".
Maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I do over-analyze things. But I know when I'm not wanted. I just want to be told that's all. If I'm invading someone's life, I just want to be told. If I'm too close and if I made them uncomfortable, I just want to be told. I might (maybe, I'm not really sure how to put this, because, I'm not an expert in this department) 'like' the things that's been going on, and to me, it's totally misleading. I want the truth. Not cover up. No sugary layers.
I've had enough of being Athrun Zala! I've always been an Athrun to everyone. IT FUCKING SUCKS! Once in a while I want to be a Kira or a Setsuna or a Lelouch or a Luffy. I've always put everyone above me but have I been appreciated for what I've done? NO. Have I changed after I realized how damning and cruel it is for me? NO. And have I stopped putting people that I care about above me when they don't fucking care about me? NO. I have never stopped caring.
Ok. This shall end here. In the end, I'm still lost. I don't know what to do and I will keep on growing mushrooms in my bedroom until I rot. I've been so emo lately, I really don't know why.
The one thing I know for sure and the one thing I don't want to fluctuate or be stagnant is, this feeling I have towards that one particular reason. The only reason I still have to believe that everything happen for a reason and it's all good. And as much as I'm being upset with whatever that's been happening in which to that reason is nothing, but to me is something, my mind will never change.
Forgive me for being such an ass these days. For being Immature. For being Impatient. For being such a baby. For being such an annoying existence. For being irritating. For being troublesome. For not being understanding. For being a horrible person. Hontou ni gomen nasai m(_ _)m
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Mom's Birthday
Today 11/28 is Mommy's birthday. O-tanjoubi omedetou, Haha-ue!! * hugs *
I woke up feeling like shit today. Not gonna lie or cover it up with sugary words. I woke up feeling like shit. There, ni dou itta. I planned to clean the house and cook for Mom today but since I wasn't really in the mood, I ALMOST decided to forget about everything and sleep in. I was on twitter for a while tweeting with my Olympians gang and yeah.. they cheer me up. So I decided "What the hell! It's your Mom's birthday for goodness' sake!" So I got up and went to get her a piece of cake, at least.
When I reached the mall, I had memory lapse. I got out of the car and stood there for a while and thought "What am I doing here?" I walked a while and went to Starbucks, got myself the usual Iced Caramel Macchiato and then I remembered the reason why I was out. To get my mom her birthday cake =_= lol! So I went to Secret Recipe and bought some carrot cake.
Instead of getting her a piece, I ended up buying a whole cake. Why? I dunno, I feel that it's more fun to blow more candles than just one! Got some pizzas too!
Mom was surprised when I knocked on her door. She was still sleeping when I carried the cake to her room and :)
Btw, I'm starting on "Norwegian Wood" and I finally finished reading "Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman" both by Murakami. Will review on this when I have the time... and I want to meet that Shinagawa Monkey so he can take my name and erase my memory. =(
I woke up feeling like shit today. Not gonna lie or cover it up with sugary words. I woke up feeling like shit. There, ni dou itta. I planned to clean the house and cook for Mom today but since I wasn't really in the mood, I ALMOST decided to forget about everything and sleep in. I was on twitter for a while tweeting with my Olympians gang and yeah.. they cheer me up. So I decided "What the hell! It's your Mom's birthday for goodness' sake!" So I got up and went to get her a piece of cake, at least.When I reached the mall, I had memory lapse. I got out of the car and stood there for a while and thought "What am I doing here?" I walked a while and went to Starbucks, got myself the usual Iced Caramel Macchiato and then I remembered the reason why I was out. To get my mom her birthday cake =_= lol! So I went to Secret Recipe and bought some carrot cake.
Instead of getting her a piece, I ended up buying a whole cake. Why? I dunno, I feel that it's more fun to blow more candles than just one! Got some pizzas too!
Mom was surprised when I knocked on her door. She was still sleeping when I carried the cake to her room and :)
Btw, I'm starting on "Norwegian Wood" and I finally finished reading "Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman" both by Murakami. Will review on this when I have the time... and I want to meet that Shinagawa Monkey so he can take my name and erase my memory. =(Friday, November 26, 2010
Part 1: Life's Theme Songs
If I am to pick theme songs for what's been going on with my life right now, I have a few. LOL. It's like an "OST of Life" or something. Except it varies in every occasion in my daily take in life. AND it changes quarterly every year. Like, it plays in my head everytime something happens or even when nothing happen. (Oh yes, my imagination works itself to the max sometimes) Take JAWS for example. (To those who do not know what 'JAWS' is can jump off the nearest cliff). Everyone knows JAWS theme song, right?
In my case, the theme songs varies depending on my mood.
(Remember, I am from Team Decepticon, not Emoticon) LOL!
Here's a list of my current "Life OST". Hee =D
1) Cool - Gwen Stefani
The only song that could calm me down when I'm back on the fence and thinking all the "What Ifs" and whatnot. This will be in my head prior to the whole brain being occupied by... * cough * next..
2) Skip Turn Step - Wakeshima Kanon
This will play in my head when I'm extremely happy. Usually, when I think of my nieces (Chib and Kosuke) and my nephew (Ryuu-chan). Reason that is, Chib loves this song to the extend of wanting it to be played everytime she's in my car. EVERYTIME. And Kosuke loves it too. So listening to this makes me happy =)
3) Skip Turn Step (Instrumental) - Wakeshima Kanon
Well, this will play when I'm in "Hanyan~" Mode. (p/s: refer Cardcaptor Sakura Anime) And Oh.. I feel like playing the bass and violin part whenever i listen to this. I tried the violin part though. The bass part hmm... it's slow but it sounds awesome! It's the best song to listen to when u feel all "Kira kira" and "fuwa fuwa" inside. And when u feel all daisies and sunshine~ Hanyannnnn~ XD
4) Cassis - the GazettE
This is a sad song but it's a beautiful piece (for a VK band). Last year, this category was filled in by 'Kousai' by Alice Nine. Cassis only plays in my head when I'm terribly down (like.. all the time, what do u mean "ONLY PLAYS IN MY HEAD WHEN. . ." Aki?)
5) 4 in the morning - Gwen Stefani
Well, you know... all the things that happen all night long and make u stay up til 4 in the morning. The good, the bad, the wonderful, the worst, the pretty, the ugly. Mostly, what makes you happy. This song gives me strength to go on and not to call it a quit. It keeps reminding me never to give up and to hold on to it.
6) TIME CAPSULE - Last Alliance
This usually comes when I'm in "I hit rock bottom! But I know I can survive!" =_=
Sorry but no PV or mp3 for this m(_ _)m
7) When Will I See You Again - The Three Degrees
Only happens when I'm in the car; Partially-Hanyan~ XD
Will be continued...
In my case, the theme songs varies depending on my mood.
(Remember, I am from Team Decepticon, not Emoticon) LOL!
Here's a list of my current "Life OST". Hee =D
1) Cool - Gwen Stefani
The only song that could calm me down when I'm back on the fence and thinking all the "What Ifs" and whatnot. This will be in my head prior to the whole brain being occupied by... * cough * next..
2) Skip Turn Step - Wakeshima Kanon
This will play in my head when I'm extremely happy. Usually, when I think of my nieces (Chib and Kosuke) and my nephew (Ryuu-chan). Reason that is, Chib loves this song to the extend of wanting it to be played everytime she's in my car. EVERYTIME. And Kosuke loves it too. So listening to this makes me happy =)
3) Skip Turn Step (Instrumental) - Wakeshima Kanon
Well, this will play when I'm in "Hanyan~" Mode. (p/s: refer Cardcaptor Sakura Anime) And Oh.. I feel like playing the bass and violin part whenever i listen to this. I tried the violin part though. The bass part hmm... it's slow but it sounds awesome! It's the best song to listen to when u feel all "Kira kira" and "fuwa fuwa" inside. And when u feel all daisies and sunshine~ Hanyannnnn~ XD
4) Cassis - the GazettE
This is a sad song but it's a beautiful piece (for a VK band). Last year, this category was filled in by 'Kousai' by Alice Nine. Cassis only plays in my head when I'm terribly down (like.. all the time, what do u mean "ONLY PLAYS IN MY HEAD WHEN. . ." Aki?)
5) 4 in the morning - Gwen Stefani
Well, you know... all the things that happen all night long and make u stay up til 4 in the morning. The good, the bad, the wonderful, the worst, the pretty, the ugly. Mostly, what makes you happy. This song gives me strength to go on and not to call it a quit. It keeps reminding me never to give up and to hold on to it.
6) TIME CAPSULE - Last Alliance
This usually comes when I'm in "I hit rock bottom! But I know I can survive!" =_=
Sorry but no PV or mp3 for this m(_ _)m
7) When Will I See You Again - The Three Degrees
Only happens when I'm in the car; Partially-Hanyan~ XD
Will be continued...
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Entropy at work: A good girl
Should post this to some weekly talent competition. LOL! THIS IS RANDOM!! Not related to anyone dead or alive. Thanks For Reading.
A good girl
by erma
by erma
A good girl will always smile to the things she adores
A good girl will know when to seek and when to ignore
A good girl will not let go easily
A good girl will pout when she misses that somebody
A good girl will do what it takes to win that someone's heart
A good girl will sulk for the reasons they had to be apart
A good girl will compromise and tolerate
A good girl will always believe in fate
A good girl will cry and then recover
A good girl will know when to say "It's over"
A good girl will nod when there is a good reason behind something
But a good girl is also a mere human being; a fragile little thing
A good girl will know when to quit, although it hurts and there is no cure to it
A good girl will know when to quietly leave, but stands tall to what she believes
Therefore a good girl needs a good man
The one she knows she wants to be with, the one who is able to withstand her, the only one who can
A good girl will not let go easily
A good girl will pout when she misses that somebody
A good girl will do what it takes to win that someone's heart
A good girl will sulk for the reasons they had to be apart
A good girl will compromise and tolerate
A good girl will always believe in fate
A good girl will cry and then recover
A good girl will know when to say "It's over"
A good girl will nod when there is a good reason behind something
But a good girl is also a mere human being; a fragile little thing
A good girl will know when to quit, although it hurts and there is no cure to it
A good girl will know when to quietly leave, but stands tall to what she believes
Therefore a good girl needs a good man
The one she knows she wants to be with, the one who is able to withstand her, the only one who can
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Long overdue...
If this post is edible and has an expiry date, I would have died by now =_= but anyways, here's the news. I've LONG completed my Samurai Deeper Kyo (English Version) manga collection! (Yeay!!! OMEDETOU!!). By the way, I had it in my hand since July. Hahah!! And nope, I haven't read it. It's still in the plastic wrap, fresh from Kinokuniya. I know what happened in the end already so I decided to keep it that way until I start reading the whole series again. ahhahah!!!
Volume 37/38:The final installment of Samurai Deeper Kyo (English version)Ok back to Samurai Deeper Kyo (SDK).
Image 1: Samurai Deeper Kyo LogoWhat made me go on with the anime although I said "gosh this is crap" was the character, Sanada Yukimura (真田 幸村) (voiced by "Aniki" Megumi Ogata!!). The excellent and brilliant general, infamous for his military tactics. Of course, he was awesome in the anime, the manga and in real life! lolol!! Yukimara has 10 loyal ninjas that follows him around (imperceptible in the eye of normal human being) lol! They are the Sanada 10 (Sanada Jyuyushi: 真田十勇士)
Image 2: Sanada Yukimura in the animeSo I got attracted to finding out if the manga is the same as the anime. I'm glad I did. The manga IS AWESOME. And I fell in love with most of the characters in SDK, especially the main character Demon Eyes Kyo (Onime no Kyo: 鬼眼の狂).
Image 3: Kyo doing his "Mumyo Jinpu Ryu" in the animeThis. You have to read the manga. I'm not gonna summarize the whole gd thing. This is marketing strategy people! Buy the tankoubon!! All I can say is this manga is awesome. Although it's an old series, I've read it about 12 times because I just love the art, the story line and the ending.
Image 4: Kyo and the gangLike I said. I read it 12 times. Hope that triggered your curiousity. hahaha!! By the way, Kamijyo-sensei is also the author for Code:Breaker and Shirogane no Karasu. So, Read This People!!
Warning: If you haven't watch the anime or read the manga, PLEASE GET YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE ANIME. And enjoy the manga to the fullest! Thanks! :D
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
We are The Tweelympians, my friend
The Gods and a Goddess are on Twitter!!
Yeah.. but nope. Not what you're thinking. The era of the Gods and Goddesses was long dead but Homer (nope, not Homer Simpson), author of the epic poems - the Iliad and the Odyssey kept them alive. Me and fellow Tweelympians (Tweeples + Olympians) (laniemon, Yukinao6, kamokun, tangBR) were just bored out of our wits and we thought, "Hey, this is fun" in some unnatural parallel mindlink and started "playing gods" on Twitter! LOL. Just the characters and nope, not really playing GODS. We are mere humans. * shrugs*
Anyway, it all started with me and laniemon; fellow Olympian slash coffee buddy (a friend I met from twitter) bitching about our hahaha "Shachou" and start giving them names; Zeus and Hades. So we usually addressed them as that when we tweet- no, bitch about work lol. Somehow, it got intercepted (intercepted?) and joined by other fellow tweeples and thus, we have a bunch of Olympians now. So we decided to "be" the Greek Gods/Goddess and picked our favourites. So as decided we picked these:
ermakyo : Me as Athena
kamokun: Kamokun as Hephaestus
Image 3: Hephaestus
laniemon: laniemon as Dionysus
Image 4: Dionysus
tangBR: Chii-chan TangBR as Atlas
Image 5: Atlas
Here are the other 2 of the Goddesses that I liked (but didn't picked):
Aphrodite (pronounced as EF-RO-DAI-TEE):
Image 6: Aphrodite
I almost picked Aphrodite. Wait. I did pick Aphrodite and then I changed my mind. I loved Aphrodite, maybe she's next after Athena (or before?) LOL! She's too lovely for my personality. Besides I don't have men groveling at my feet. And Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Sexuality. (Checked CV: er.... not qualified O_O). And wait Aphrodite married Hephaestus (O_O If u read Homer, Hephaestus was banished from Olympus because he was Ugly. Zeus wanted them to marry each other to avoid war. So, there's no such thing as "opposite attracts" then?) And why I didn't pick Aphrodite? She is gorgeous (me=not), has many lovers (impossible for me too) and consort to Hephaestus, Ares, Poseidon, Hermes, Dionysus, Adonis, and Anchises. See, that's 3 out of the 4 from my fellow Olympians up there =_=
Persephone (pronounced as PER-SAY-FUR-NEE):
Image 7: Persephone
Also, I almost picked Persephone.. again. I have history with Persephone and ... "the late Hades" (the better off dead ex-boyfriend). Persephone is the Queen of the Underworld and wife of Hades. The story of Persephone is terribly sad especially when she was abducted to the underworld. I think she live the most normal life among other Goddesses in Olympus.Oh and referring to the Olympian telling, the gods Hermes, Ares, Apollo, and Hephaestus, had all wooed Persephone; but Demeter (her mom) rejected all their gifts and hid her daughter away from the company of the Olympian deities. Wahahahah!!! Anyway, she was an innocent goddess who picks flowers and stuff until she was abducted by Hades. Zeus did try to ask Hades to return his daughter but the rules of Fates (=_=) say that those who consumed anything from the underworld was bound to live there for eternity. There u go. The epic tale is too long. Anyone interested better go read yourself. But, the story of Persephone is my favourite, next to The Odyssey. =)
So why did I pick Athena then?
Because Athena is the goddess of war, civilization, wisdom, strength, strategy, crafts, justice and skill in Greek mythology!!!!!! Muwahahahahah!!!! She is smart. That's why i picked her. She is heroic! She's a warrior! In the simplest text, AWESOME. Enough said. =)
I don't know about the other guys but my reason for picking Athena is just that. She is awesome. And I want to be awesome. No, I AM AWESOME. LOL! * gets bricked *
Maybe next time I will talk about The Odyssey. Story of Odysseus and his handsome son, Telemachus.
Sources:
Athena: (Source: http://inertiak.deviantart.com/art/Athena-85360364?q=boost%3Apopular+athena&qo=7)
Hermes: (Source: http://walterka.deviantart.com/art/Hermes-the-god-of-slyness-123473731)
Hephaestus: (Source: http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/barton-town/greek-mythology-rp-re-accepting-don-t-mind-everyone-join/t.44340433/)
Dionysus: (Source: http://www.freewebs.com/rockaway/peopleofthewest.htm)
Atlas: (Source: http://curtydc.deviantart.com/art/Atlas-167076542?q=boost%3Apopular+Atlas+god&qo=23)
Aphrodite: (Source: http://myambeon.deviantart.com/art/Aphrodite-177607689?q=boost%3Apopular+aphrodite&qo=10)
Persephone: (Source: http://blackeri.deviantart.com/art/Persephone-36462190?q=boost%3Apopular+persephone&qo=12)
Yeah.. but nope. Not what you're thinking. The era of the Gods and Goddesses was long dead but Homer (nope, not Homer Simpson), author of the epic poems - the Iliad and the Odyssey kept them alive. Me and fellow Tweelympians (Tweeples + Olympians) (laniemon, Yukinao6, kamokun, tangBR) were just bored out of our wits and we thought, "Hey, this is fun" in some unnatural parallel mindlink and started "playing gods" on Twitter! LOL. Just the characters and nope, not really playing GODS. We are mere humans. * shrugs*
Anyway, it all started with me and laniemon; fellow Olympian slash coffee buddy (a friend I met from twitter) bitching about our hahaha "Shachou" and start giving them names; Zeus and Hades. So we usually addressed them as that when we tweet- no, bitch about work lol. Somehow, it got intercepted (intercepted?) and joined by other fellow tweeples and thus, we have a bunch of Olympians now. So we decided to "be" the Greek Gods/Goddess and picked our favourites. So as decided we picked these:
ermakyo : Me as Athena
Image 1: Athena
Yukinao6: Onitan as Hermes Image 2: Hermes
kamokun: Kamokun as Hephaestus
Image 3: Hephaestuslaniemon: laniemon as Dionysus
Image 4: DionysusImage 5: Atlas
Here are the other 2 of the Goddesses that I liked (but didn't picked):
Aphrodite (pronounced as EF-RO-DAI-TEE):
Image 6: AphroditeI almost picked Aphrodite. Wait. I did pick Aphrodite and then I changed my mind. I loved Aphrodite, maybe she's next after Athena (or before?) LOL! She's too lovely for my personality. Besides I don't have men groveling at my feet. And Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Sexuality. (Checked CV: er.... not qualified O_O). And wait Aphrodite married Hephaestus (O_O If u read Homer, Hephaestus was banished from Olympus because he was Ugly. Zeus wanted them to marry each other to avoid war. So, there's no such thing as "opposite attracts" then?) And why I didn't pick Aphrodite? She is gorgeous (me=not), has many lovers (impossible for me too) and consort to Hephaestus, Ares, Poseidon, Hermes, Dionysus, Adonis, and Anchises. See, that's 3 out of the 4 from my fellow Olympians up there =_=
Persephone (pronounced as PER-SAY-FUR-NEE):
Image 7: PersephoneAlso, I almost picked Persephone.. again. I have history with Persephone and ... "the late Hades" (the better off dead ex-boyfriend). Persephone is the Queen of the Underworld and wife of Hades. The story of Persephone is terribly sad especially when she was abducted to the underworld. I think she live the most normal life among other Goddesses in Olympus.Oh and referring to the Olympian telling, the gods Hermes, Ares, Apollo, and Hephaestus, had all wooed Persephone; but Demeter (her mom) rejected all their gifts and hid her daughter away from the company of the Olympian deities. Wahahahah!!! Anyway, she was an innocent goddess who picks flowers and stuff until she was abducted by Hades. Zeus did try to ask Hades to return his daughter but the rules of Fates (=_=) say that those who consumed anything from the underworld was bound to live there for eternity. There u go. The epic tale is too long. Anyone interested better go read yourself. But, the story of Persephone is my favourite, next to The Odyssey. =)
So why did I pick Athena then?
Because Athena is the goddess of war, civilization, wisdom, strength, strategy, crafts, justice and skill in Greek mythology!!!!!! Muwahahahahah!!!! She is smart. That's why i picked her. She is heroic! She's a warrior! In the simplest text, AWESOME. Enough said. =)
I don't know about the other guys but my reason for picking Athena is just that. She is awesome. And I want to be awesome. No, I AM AWESOME. LOL! * gets bricked *
Maybe next time I will talk about The Odyssey. Story of Odysseus and his handsome son, Telemachus.
Sources:
Athena: (Source: http://inertiak.deviantart.com/art/Athena-85360364?q=boost%3Apopular+athena&qo=7)
Hermes: (Source: http://walterka.deviantart.com/art/Hermes-the-god-of-slyness-123473731)
Hephaestus: (Source: http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/barton-town/greek-mythology-rp-re-accepting-don-t-mind-everyone-join/t.44340433/)
Dionysus: (Source: http://www.freewebs.com/rockaway/peopleofthewest.htm)
Atlas: (Source: http://curtydc.deviantart.com/art/Atlas-167076542?q=boost%3Apopular+Atlas+god&qo=23)
Aphrodite: (Source: http://myambeon.deviantart.com/art/Aphrodite-177607689?q=boost%3Apopular+aphrodite&qo=10)
Persephone: (Source: http://blackeri.deviantart.com/art/Persephone-36462190?q=boost%3Apopular+persephone&qo=12)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Universal Children's Day: Stop Child Abuse!
Today (20th November) is Universal Children's Day. I was invited by Ili Billie to support the event which was held at 1Utama this morning. I should have brought my nieces and nephew. The event was all about creating awareness of child abuse and for all means, to support against child abuse and many other things related to children. I came a little late but I managed to join the Flash Mob game which was totally awesome. Didn't bring my blanket (and no, no kid with me) so I shared blanket with a random person and she was nice enough to offer me her blanket (and we became friends =) hehehe). While we were having our own "sleep over" in front of Mac City, suddenly somebody came and tickled me while I was under the blanket. I burst into tears and I laughed so hard. When I peeked, it was Datin Marina Mahathir. Hahaha! Omg.. * embarrassed * She must have thought I was a kid =_= Oh! And I was mistaken for a 16 year old TWICE. Anyway, I didn't manage to take a lot of photos because my phone died on me T___T.
Exhibit 1: If you need help, call 15999
Exhibit 2: Kodomo ga aishiteiru
Exhibit 4: The crowd before the Flash Mob game
Exhibit 1: If you need help, call 15999
Exhibit 2: Kodomo ga aishiteiru
Exhibit 4: The crowd before the Flash Mob gameFor more info check out: UNICEF Malaysia and show your support.
Love your children. Stop child abuse. Remember, we were once kids.
x-posted to : Theater of Randomness: Unraveling tangled yarns
Love your children. Stop child abuse. Remember, we were once kids.
x-posted to : Theater of Randomness: Unraveling tangled yarns
Friday, November 12, 2010
Training is over. Now back to work =_=
Where have I been...
I have been away from my base for training at IBM Innovative Centre last 3 days and man, was the training interesting. Learned so much about technical stuff (which was not really related to my current job) but was damn interesting. I began to think I should write to IBM and work for them. LOL. Like any other leading IT company, IBM too has what seems to be a hectic working environment (So I thought, when I first arrived at the Centre). What made me think that way? You have to queue up to get to the lift. And everytime you get your chance to go in the lift, it's always packed. What makes me more interested in IBM was, everytime I got in the lift there's a 90% chance that I'll bump into a Japanese (or Korean =_=). Wait.... now that I think about it, maybe I should work in Japan instead.
People I met...
So during the training, I became friends with the lady who sat next to me. She's a very nice person, buys me vending machine coffee everyday, helped me with some lab stuff. Ahaha!! Ok, no. Not because she buys me coffee everyday. She is a nice person. We were in the same wave once we started to talk. She's married with a kid. I seriously thought she was a Malay until the final day when we went to Shojikiya together and when she was paying for her stuff, she was speaking Chinese to the cashier. I was shocked. Her Malay language was perfect! Perfect Slang. Perfect intonation. Perfect sentence formation. Much much much better than my Malay. =_= * shocked * Then only I asked what her last name was, and then, yes, I was 100% sure, she is Chinese. =)
What I miss most...
This would definitely be the 1 1/2hour lunch time where I get to eat Japanese food and watch Athrun Zala at home. Since IBMIC is only 5 minutes drive from my loft, I decided to go back and watch Anime before going back to lab at 1.30pm. Apart from it would be eating all the nice Japanese food everyday and the late start and early end routine. OH! And also, the vending machine of course. hahaha!! And definitely, listening to people in IBM (Malaysians especially) speaking Japanese and Korean like it's our national language. It amazes me T____T Well, I wish that person would speak (as in verbally) Japanese to me, I would definitely love to hear it =)
I have been away from my base for training at IBM Innovative Centre last 3 days and man, was the training interesting. Learned so much about technical stuff (which was not really related to my current job) but was damn interesting. I began to think I should write to IBM and work for them. LOL. Like any other leading IT company, IBM too has what seems to be a hectic working environment (So I thought, when I first arrived at the Centre). What made me think that way? You have to queue up to get to the lift. And everytime you get your chance to go in the lift, it's always packed. What makes me more interested in IBM was, everytime I got in the lift there's a 90% chance that I'll bump into a Japanese (or Korean =_=). Wait.... now that I think about it, maybe I should work in Japan instead.
People I met...
So during the training, I became friends with the lady who sat next to me. She's a very nice person, buys me vending machine coffee everyday, helped me with some lab stuff. Ahaha!! Ok, no. Not because she buys me coffee everyday. She is a nice person. We were in the same wave once we started to talk. She's married with a kid. I seriously thought she was a Malay until the final day when we went to Shojikiya together and when she was paying for her stuff, she was speaking Chinese to the cashier. I was shocked. Her Malay language was perfect! Perfect Slang. Perfect intonation. Perfect sentence formation. Much much much better than my Malay. =_= * shocked * Then only I asked what her last name was, and then, yes, I was 100% sure, she is Chinese. =)
What I miss most...
This would definitely be the 1 1/2hour lunch time where I get to eat Japanese food and watch Athrun Zala at home. Since IBMIC is only 5 minutes drive from my loft, I decided to go back and watch Anime before going back to lab at 1.30pm. Apart from it would be eating all the nice Japanese food everyday and the late start and early end routine. OH! And also, the vending machine of course. hahaha!! And definitely, listening to people in IBM (Malaysians especially) speaking Japanese and Korean like it's our national language. It amazes me T____T Well, I wish that person would speak (as in verbally) Japanese to me, I would definitely love to hear it =)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Should I call it... 'Over' ?
I have limits too. That I admit. Usually I'm not a patient person. After a week, I would probably murmur curses under my breath and then shuts every possible way of contacts. But Fate is always being mean to me. Maybe it's not Fate. Maybe my book of life is written like this: "Akira is to be ignored by any guy she may like " It's crazy isn't it? It's like I'm cursed and I'm not kidding. I am hurt.
I've been contemplating to destroy this stupid 'castle in the sky'. Who said I didn't like it? The actual fact goes something like "I love it too much I can't stand the fact that it's unreal". Why does this always happen to me? Aphrodite hates me that much? Did I offend cupid in some way I didn't realize? And why must it happen to me consequently? Look. I really like this dude and I've been through a lot this year. Why can't it be simple? Of course, if it's simple. It's not LIFE.
Maybe this isn't working. I've heard stories, tales, whatever from so many people. About being patient and things will work accordingly. But how can it work, if I'm the only one who actually thinks there's something there and when the other party thinks non-living things are more important than me. I've had enough of guys treating me like that. It makes me plant wrong thoughts like "MEN ARE MORONS", "BOYS ARE JERKS" kinda thing.
T_________________T
Enough ranting. I'm a broken glass today. I'm broken everytime I see him around talking to others and ignoring me.
I've been contemplating to destroy this stupid 'castle in the sky'. Who said I didn't like it? The actual fact goes something like "I love it too much I can't stand the fact that it's unreal". Why does this always happen to me? Aphrodite hates me that much? Did I offend cupid in some way I didn't realize? And why must it happen to me consequently? Look. I really like this dude and I've been through a lot this year. Why can't it be simple? Of course, if it's simple. It's not LIFE.
Maybe this isn't working. I've heard stories, tales, whatever from so many people. About being patient and things will work accordingly. But how can it work, if I'm the only one who actually thinks there's something there and when the other party thinks non-living things are more important than me. I've had enough of guys treating me like that. It makes me plant wrong thoughts like "MEN ARE MORONS", "BOYS ARE JERKS" kinda thing.
T_________________T
Enough ranting. I'm a broken glass today. I'm broken everytime I see him around talking to others and ignoring me.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Fidelity
The 4 days away from the world was a total failure. =_= My part that is, but it seems like the world has no problem turning its back on me. * shrugs * So I consider myself on an "Under Construction" situation. I'm still seeking the right answer to all the questions that are in my head right now. Some I do know the answers, but I'm a weak little bastard (ain't never calling myself a bitch and I'm not a bastard so that doesn't count either) who is always in denial (see, not calling myself a bitch and stating 'bastard' makes the fact of being in denial clearer) O_O
So my mind has been in a mess lately. Ever since I'm sorta 'involving' myself with the thing called 'feelings' * barf * which I NEVER had. I repeat that;"NEVER". Well, if that is what they call 'feelings' well so be it. Come on, everyone knows Aki IS Stoic. I live accordingly to the thing called logic. And that's a fact. So I found out that I kinda... er ... am sorta (ok, I'm also thinking of how to actually 'express' or 'explain' this) got 'attached'(?) with some sort of a 'fiber-optic involvement'(?) no. Involvement is not the word. (still in denial eh?)Ok so I like somebody. There! I said it (with a strike-through). LIKE here refers to the type that makes u go gaga over everything. LOL!!!
I'm not sure if this thing is allowed. I'm not if I'm allowed to 'feel'. I mean. God gives us options. It really depends on us human. If i take it as positive as possible, will this be the right thing to do? Should I continue with having the thing they call 'feelings' which is currently intangible due to the fact that it's not physically possible and clearly not in front of my eyes? And the fact that I'm not sure what the other party is thinking because well, some people can change like the weather. Will I be able to live like this, when I keep hurting myself everyday and the fact that I actually am too close to this person would probably make this person feels like I'm invading their life? What am I to do then when I already know that somehow, this could be impossible?
I never liked anyone fully. I always do it halfheartedly because my 'logic' says "Hurt than be hurt". It seems like now, I'm having the reverse effect of my own logic. And fuck, it hurts like hell. I'm definitely contemplating this. I've been thinking about it. I either should stop the whole stabbing-the-heart-parade. OR. I could wait. If I wait, how much time can I give myself? Please God. I need an answer. T____T Well, truth be told. HE already did show me signs. I just need to be patient, that's all.
So my mind has been in a mess lately. Ever since I'm sorta 'involving' myself with the thing called 'feelings' * barf * which I NEVER had. I repeat that;"NEVER". Well, if that is what they call 'feelings' well so be it. Come on, everyone knows Aki IS Stoic. I live accordingly to the thing called logic. And that's a fact. So I found out that I kinda... er ... am sorta (ok, I'm also thinking of how to actually 'express' or 'explain' this) got 'attached'(?) with some sort of a 'fiber-optic involvement'(?) no. Involvement is not the word. (still in denial eh?)
I'm not sure if this thing is allowed. I'm not if I'm allowed to 'feel'. I mean. God gives us options. It really depends on us human. If i take it as positive as possible, will this be the right thing to do? Should I continue with having the thing they call 'feelings' which is currently intangible due to the fact that it's not physically possible and clearly not in front of my eyes? And the fact that I'm not sure what the other party is thinking because well, some people can change like the weather. Will I be able to live like this, when I keep hurting myself everyday and the fact that I actually am too close to this person would probably make this person feels like I'm invading their life? What am I to do then when I already know that somehow, this could be impossible?
I never liked anyone fully. I always do it halfheartedly because my 'logic' says "Hurt than be hurt". It seems like now, I'm having the reverse effect of my own logic. And fuck, it hurts like hell. I'm definitely contemplating this. I've been thinking about it. I either should stop the whole stabbing-the-heart-parade. OR. I could wait. If I wait, how much time can I give myself? Please God. I need an answer. T____T Well, truth be told. HE already did show me signs. I just need to be patient, that's all.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Part 1: Random Entry - Early bird
Woke up pretty early on a public holiday =_=. I planned to go to Starbucks but I was a bit too lazy to drive out. Oh, and Starbucks around this area only opens at 10AM. Besides, not waking up on my own bed makes my day a bit, off? hahaha... I'm currently trying to "getaway from the world" in which, I obviously failed flawlessly last night. The whole reason of "putting everything in a jar for a while" was to get my mind away from what I think distracts me or what I would simply say "dragged me out of my normal pace". Before I finally cut the connection with the world last night (which again, I failed tremendously) I was simply putting my fate on the fence, as I usually do. I prayed hard that if what I did was the right thing that God would simply give a simple sign, at least try to make a blockhead like me understand that everything happens for a reason. And that everything that comes from Him are good, and the bad are simply from the weaker being like us.
Well, as far as things went last night, God did show me a huge sign of which I think is quite obvious for me to actually accept it as something good. I can't put it in words, but I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I woke up happy this morning (except for the backache from sharing a bed with my niece and then moving to the floor and then up the bed again). I used to say i feel "pink" which to me resembles the joyful aura but now, I feel "YELLOW" <3 because Yellow makes me happy and Yellow is sunshine =)
Well, as far as things went last night, God did show me a huge sign of which I think is quite obvious for me to actually accept it as something good. I can't put it in words, but I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I woke up happy this morning (except for the backache from sharing a bed with my niece and then moving to the floor and then up the bed again). I used to say i feel "pink" which to me resembles the joyful aura but now, I feel "YELLOW" <3 because Yellow makes me happy and Yellow is sunshine =)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
What Athrun Zala and I have in common
What is the most disturbing thing that bothers you in your entire life?
This is probably a general question. If you think it's boring, then stop reading. I'm sure everyone has their own odd answers with very odd but good reasons to what they are about to come up with. As for me, I find this one particular thing very disturbing. It hurts me entirely and I'm sure for me this is the only thing I (or maybe everyone) want to avoid of being or treated as. The one thing that bothers me the most in life is being a deuteragonist.
Although I'm not the type that really works her ass off to be the first in everything, at least to some people and some things which I think is important to me, I want to be first among others. Born in a small family as a SECOND child (also the youngest) doesn't give me any priority at all to being the first. As sad as how the story will go (oh gosh, here comes the emo Aki) being who and where I am today, doesn't change the fact that I am STILL, at least if not, the second in everything.
My brother, Kuro-nii is the first born son in the family. The first grandson. The first to get married. The first to have kids. The first to have the FIRST born son. Sigh. Ok, so that's how his book of life is written. Everyone should be happy about it right? And as for me, I do have some "First" of my own, which also contributed to some of the success stories in the family, but of course, it's not as significant. More like a "meh..." * shrugs * and the things that I achieved, will be seconded by others. And these clonesactually did better, well, maybe close to it but not better.
As a normal human being who is self-conscious about everything and of the surroundings, I sometimes, no, most of the time, compare myself to almost everything and everyone. Some think, this is normal and healthy but we work our mind to the furthest extend. One can never be satisfied with what they have. So, I usually compare myself (or the love my parents give) to what my brother (and his family) receive. For example, Mom sometimes mistaken my sports day to Kuro-nii's. He did outshines everyone on the track and he was the "BEST" runner in both primary and secondary school. He always got FIRST in class. Unlike me, I don't run. I jump. The only sport I participated in primary school was long jump. And I got... THIRD. And Mom said, "Abang not only ran in school, I think he did long jump too". Well, he never did long jump. He only RUNS, MOM. =_= Sometimes, the smallest thing ruined my castle in the sky. Which made me come to the conclusion of not being loved by Mom and Dad. Okay, I know that sounded pathetic.
So, when I was in a relationship, I was also being treated as secondary to other things. Like WORK, for example. Did you know how much that hurts, to be compared to things. Intangible things. Also, to be forgotten.What of all the things and time I have sacrificed? (I'm gonna skip this part. I'm tearing up T___T)
I am not a good person and that's a fact. And I've always wanted to improve myself and not be stagnant. I am also human and fragile inside as a matter of fact. (I may be grunge on the outside. haha) So, I never dreamed of being the heroine in any movie or drama or anime or manga. I just want to be remembered. For who I am. For what I did. For what I have given. For some things and for some people that I adore, I just wish to be that one thing that at least to the point of importance, if not primary. But never a secondary below other things.
This is probably a general question. If you think it's boring, then stop reading. I'm sure everyone has their own odd answers with very odd but good reasons to what they are about to come up with. As for me, I find this one particular thing very disturbing. It hurts me entirely and I'm sure for me this is the only thing I (or maybe everyone) want to avoid of being or treated as. The one thing that bothers me the most in life is being a deuteragonist.
Although I'm not the type that really works her ass off to be the first in everything, at least to some people and some things which I think is important to me, I want to be first among others. Born in a small family as a SECOND child (also the youngest) doesn't give me any priority at all to being the first. As sad as how the story will go (oh gosh, here comes the emo Aki) being who and where I am today, doesn't change the fact that I am STILL, at least if not, the second in everything.
My brother, Kuro-nii is the first born son in the family. The first grandson. The first to get married. The first to have kids. The first to have the FIRST born son. Sigh. Ok, so that's how his book of life is written. Everyone should be happy about it right? And as for me, I do have some "First" of my own, which also contributed to some of the success stories in the family, but of course, it's not as significant. More like a "meh..." * shrugs * and the things that I achieved, will be seconded by others. And these clones
As a normal human being who is self-conscious about everything and of the surroundings, I sometimes, no, most of the time, compare myself to almost everything and everyone. Some think, this is normal and healthy but we work our mind to the furthest extend. One can never be satisfied with what they have. So, I usually compare myself (or the love my parents give) to what my brother (and his family) receive. For example, Mom sometimes mistaken my sports day to Kuro-nii's. He did outshines everyone on the track and he was the "BEST" runner in both primary and secondary school. He always got FIRST in class. Unlike me, I don't run. I jump. The only sport I participated in primary school was long jump. And I got... THIRD. And Mom said, "Abang not only ran in school, I think he did long jump too". Well, he never did long jump. He only RUNS, MOM. =_= Sometimes, the smallest thing ruined my castle in the sky. Which made me come to the conclusion of not being loved by Mom and Dad. Okay, I know that sounded pathetic.
So, when I was in a relationship, I was also being treated as secondary to other things. Like WORK, for example. Did you know how much that hurts, to be compared to things. Intangible things. Also, to be forgotten.What of all the things and time I have sacrificed? (I'm gonna skip this part. I'm tearing up T___T)
I am not a good person and that's a fact. And I've always wanted to improve myself and not be stagnant. I am also human and fragile inside as a matter of fact. (I may be grunge on the outside. haha) So, I never dreamed of being the heroine in any movie or drama or anime or manga. I just want to be remembered. For who I am. For what I did. For what I have given. For some things and for some people that I adore, I just wish to be that one thing that at least to the point of importance, if not primary. But never a secondary below other things.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Things people take to the furthest extend
I remember way back before we have all these social networking sites and Internet was not as amusing as now, the only way people bitch about others was to gossip privately among a group. Hahahaha! If they have guts, they would write them a letter (very high school-like * rolled eyes *) and bitch about them in there. And if they have bigger guts, they would definitely face them on and well.. catfight!
Since there are things like mySpace, Friendster and Facebook, we can see that many fights/quarrels/lawsuits break just because one can't stand the other just by reading status posted on each other's wall. A friend began to call it FaceBITCH instead, because that's where people bitch about each other PUBLICLY most of the time nowadays. So many virtual crimes happened from these social networking sites. People may intentionally or unintentionally posted things that could offend others in so many ways. Of course, nobody's pointing fingers at anyone, but since these social networking sites aren't controllable and the Internet are uncontrollable and humans are well.. never will be controllable, what can be done?
If you read the newspaper daily, you would at least come to at least one news about fraudulent especially the ones from the Internet. One which involve social networking site are mostly about Women and Men who seek for attention to fulfill desire (whatever desire it is, I'm not gonna go further explaining these stupid things). There was this one case I read (on the newspaper, of course) about this one lady who offer sex service forbeasts men who are interested or more like desperate. (According to the report on the newspaper) On her profile, she posted sexy alluring photos of her i mean of "her" to attract customers. From the newspaper, a cover-baik-punya-pervert dude said, he was trying to trap the girl by asking her to meet him for service. He even bargain with her about the price and then banked-in some cash to her account. He then went to the place they were supposed to meet but she didn't show up. (Seriously, who would fall for that kind of trick? Maybe the cover-baik-punya-pervert dude who was trying to trap her was too ugly). Anyway, turned out that the "babe" that offered the service was well.. a big size attention seeker who really has nothing to do except trick perverted guys who also has nothing to do because both have nothing to do except abuse the good use of Internet. Why would anyone, do such a thing? For money? For attention? And then? Is it satisfying? Is it good to trick perverts, I mean people? We were given all these facilities not to do stupid things (yeah.. I like to use the word stupid because I'm trying not to swear too much) like these morons? Have your parents not teach you about manners?
That's one case. There are plenty more out there which are outrageously, beyond what you call, normal thinking. Another one which also caught my attention (because some people are born with their brain on their xxx) are the ones where two people met online, online dating, met each other (or not) and then the guy/girl has huge corporation and then he/she went traveling, then was mugged, then asked for money because he/she need to see clients and pay whatever shit. And because offoolishness love, they would do anything where they would bank in the large amount of money into the "significant other"'s account and then in the end, they never hear from them again. (OK. that was long) Again, what's wrong with these people? I mean, not everyone's like me. Ignorant, stoic, indifferent. Right. Let's not start. But still, how can so many, seriously THAT MANY women especially, get fooled by people you don't see physically? First of all, how can you be in a relationship with people you can't physically see, touch? * shook head *
Speaking of the things that can offend people intentionally/ unintentionally. Lately, they have been soooo many cases where people love to write offensive things on their profile. Things that emit racism for example. People would say this race is better than this. Or stuff like that. But think about it, when you say it like that, does that make YOU a better person? Why can't people see each other as human? We are mere creation of God. Why can't people stop labeling people?
There are just some random thoughts I have for today. =_=" But I'm just too sleepy to continue and I wanna watch my Anime. XD
Besides, I don't really like to talk shit about other people. I'm just making a general opinion.
Until then.
Since there are things like mySpace, Friendster and Facebook, we can see that many fights/quarrels/lawsuits break just because one can't stand the other just by reading status posted on each other's wall. A friend began to call it FaceBITCH instead, because that's where people bitch about each other PUBLICLY most of the time nowadays. So many virtual crimes happened from these social networking sites. People may intentionally or unintentionally posted things that could offend others in so many ways. Of course, nobody's pointing fingers at anyone, but since these social networking sites aren't controllable and the Internet are uncontrollable and humans are well.. never will be controllable, what can be done?
If you read the newspaper daily, you would at least come to at least one news about fraudulent especially the ones from the Internet. One which involve social networking site are mostly about Women and Men who seek for attention to fulfill desire (whatever desire it is, I'm not gonna go further explaining these stupid things). There was this one case I read (on the newspaper, of course) about this one lady who offer sex service for
That's one case. There are plenty more out there which are outrageously, beyond what you call, normal thinking. Another one which also caught my attention (because some people are born with their brain on their xxx) are the ones where two people met online, online dating, met each other (or not) and then the guy/girl has huge corporation and then he/she went traveling, then was mugged, then asked for money because he/she need to see clients and pay whatever shit. And because of
Speaking of the things that can offend people intentionally/ unintentionally. Lately, they have been soooo many cases where people love to write offensive things on their profile. Things that emit racism for example. People would say this race is better than this. Or stuff like that. But think about it, when you say it like that, does that make YOU a better person? Why can't people see each other as human? We are mere creation of God. Why can't people stop labeling people?
There are just some random thoughts I have for today. =_=" But I'm just too sleepy to continue and I wanna watch my Anime. XD
Besides, I don't really like to talk shit about other people. I'm just making a general opinion.
Until then.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The sky isn't friendly today
I feel so dead. If I'm not sane (in which I'm almost at the limit) I would have just slit my wrist and die horribly and let my soul be damned eternally. Thank God, I have that 1% sanity left in me before I do something stupid like jumping off the 26th floor of my apartment or something like that. Sigh... you must be wondering "Why the solemn, deadly, suicidal talk?!" Don't worry, I won't do it. I don't have the guts to do it. Trust me.
I'm wrapped in despair. I think my brain is melting. My heart has gone dark. I'm lost.
. . . . .
I'm wrapped in despair. I think my brain is melting. My heart has gone dark. I'm lost.
. . . . .
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Selfish brats should go home and cry to their mamas
I totally hate it! You know, when you treat people nicely, yet they still talk shit about you. Like complain about you to every single person they know (and you know) . It's just crap. How can such human being exist? After all you did (without asking for anything in return) they still talk like f*ck about you to others. Seriously, this type of people should go jump off a cliff or something.
This one person, I know all my life, likes.. no.. love to do these kind of things to me. So, I decided to never be nice to this person anymore. I don't care anymore that this person complain, talk shit, made me sounded like an evil witch to everyone in this world. I totally don't care anymore. I hope this person will leave me alone soon. (I know, soon is very soon) And I can't wait.
This one person, I know all my life, likes.. no.. love to do these kind of things to me. So, I decided to never be nice to this person anymore. I don't care anymore that this person complain, talk shit, made me sounded like an evil witch to everyone in this world. I totally don't care anymore. I hope this person will leave me alone soon. (I know, soon is very soon) And I can't wait.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Follow The Arrow
I'm in the mood to write now. Eventhough I barely have anything in hand (or in my head) I just feel like writing. I felt a bit down though, I just came back from a few KM walk up the hills with my running partner, Ili. My Nike Trainees gave me a blister. Tch. And above all, I'm having a hard time coping up with my current financial crisis (not much of a crisis but to me it is) and I think I'm starting to hate my current state. (I know, both of those are not related with running. I just need to let it out)
I came home and sat in front of the laptop. I was glad I cleaned the bathroom this morning. (Quotes Gintama Episode 113: Washing the toilet is like cleansing the soul) I had a long aromatic shower. After the long aromatic shower, (yes, I have to emphasize on that) I put on some music. AND I opted for an English song. I saw Rosi Golan - Follow the Arrow in one of my song folders.
It finally cleared up the clouds in my head... a little
I came home and sat in front of the laptop. I was glad I cleaned the bathroom this morning. (Quotes Gintama Episode 113: Washing the toilet is like cleansing the soul) I had a long aromatic shower. After the long aromatic shower, (yes, I have to emphasize on that) I put on some music. AND I opted for an English song. I saw Rosi Golan - Follow the Arrow in one of my song folders.
It finally cleared up the clouds in my head... a little
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Life-update: The business that kills...
It's been a month since I last posted anything on Kyou no ato ni kyou nashi. Not to mention, other blogs which I was supposed to maintain. (Pfft.... so much for responsibilities). I'm not gonna go on "I've been soooooooooo busy lately that I forgot to feed my cat" thingy again, but seriously. My life has gone berserk.
It seems like I'm stuck in this pentagon (no.. hexagon? octagon?) called life where everyone else is facing it flawlessly (or not) but I know I'm not. I'm not sure if it's too late to say this, but even so, every now and then I'm stuck at the corner and I can't seem to find my way out. (Thus, the pentagon)
I've been busy doing all sorts of things (which also includes "orchestrating the rebellion") but with no avail. I mean I've been trying for the past 6 months (hahahah!! i think i did... maybe in 6 mnths I only tried twice or trice)
This one's gonna be a short one coz I'm also busy catching up with my anime. hahahaha!!
Just another update before I go, I'm currently training for KL Marathon 2010. Wahahaha!! I'm serious. Don't laugh.
It seems like I'm stuck in this pentagon (no.. hexagon? octagon?) called life where everyone else is facing it flawlessly (or not) but I know I'm not. I'm not sure if it's too late to say this, but even so, every now and then I'm stuck at the corner and I can't seem to find my way out. (Thus, the pentagon)
I've been busy doing all sorts of things (which also includes "orchestrating the rebellion") but with no avail. I mean I've been trying for the past 6 months (hahahah!! i think i did... maybe in 6 mnths I only tried twice or trice)
This one's gonna be a short one coz I'm also busy catching up with my anime. hahahaha!!
Just another update before I go, I'm currently training for KL Marathon 2010. Wahahaha!! I'm serious. Don't laugh.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Responsibility and Realization: The part where somebody should act like their own age
So, this is how it feels like to be sleepless all day long with a kid kicking your back because she wants to sleep comfortably in your bed and after a long day of not eating and not sleeping and with so many things happening. Yes, this is how it feels.
It's almost 5am. I thought I'll just keep myself awake until it's dawn and then go for my usual morning run. I can't sleep because my niece is next to me kicking her way for ultimate comfort. Can't blame her. I bet yesterday was the longest day of her entire 3 years of life. The part where she had to follow her parents and move away from her beloved nenek and atok. The part where her father was falsely arrested and it was a really weird incident. The part where her mom had to deal with all the craziness with the extra 3kg in her tummy. Everything seems like a lie. Too bad it's reality.
How about the person who was dragged along? Does anyone ever thought of what they feel? I bet noone does. Because it's insignificant. The insignificant grew to be a necessary existence.
It's almost 5am. I thought I'll just keep myself awake until it's dawn and then go for my usual morning run. I can't sleep because my niece is next to me kicking her way for ultimate comfort. Can't blame her. I bet yesterday was the longest day of her entire 3 years of life. The part where she had to follow her parents and move away from her beloved nenek and atok. The part where her father was falsely arrested and it was a really weird incident. The part where her mom had to deal with all the craziness with the extra 3kg in her tummy. Everything seems like a lie. Too bad it's reality.
How about the person who was dragged along? Does anyone ever thought of what they feel? I bet noone does. Because it's insignificant. The insignificant grew to be a necessary existence.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Entropy At Work: Why Do I Read Manga?
I've reached the quarter century mark in my life but I'm still a kid at heart ( I still haven't grown my 4 wisdom teeth okay). I love watching Anime, collecting gunpla, collecting Anime DVDs, buying and reading Japanese magazine of which only related to Anime stuff [for now] (which 3/4 of the time needs my full attention on drooling over 2D characters with rare poses and another 91/4 to translate what was written in it) and above all would be buying and reading Manga. Sometimes I wonder why do I love reading Manga so much? I love reading books but Manga has extremely drool-able and nose bleed-able bishounen characters visual aids.
Here are some (what I thought) good reasons:
1).....
2).....
3).....
Really.. I just can't give any REASON why I love reading Manga. Do I have to have a reason for it? If you love something, just go and grab it!
P/S: This post is rather stupid. But Who Cares?! :D
I'll recommend some good Manga in the next post.
Translation:
bishounen - extremely beautiful (yes i mean beautiful) young men
manga-ka - artistes that draw manga
Here are some (what I thought) good reasons:
1).....
2).....
3).....
Really.. I just can't give any REASON why I love reading Manga. Do I have to have a reason for it? If you love something, just go and grab it!
P/S: This post is rather stupid. But Who Cares?! :D
I'll recommend some good Manga in the next post.
Translation:
bishounen - extremely beautiful (yes i mean beautiful) young men
manga-ka - artistes that draw manga
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Banjiya Blues FTW.
I've been listening to Banjiya Blues after the u-know-what. So I've picked up the lyrics and translation. Here goes:
Sesuji no bashi ikiteiuku
Kuchi de iu no wa kantan, daga genjitsu wa kibishii.
Iki gatte senobishi te mo
Sekai wa sore wo tataki no mesu
PRide furikazashi hoeta tokode
Omae nanka daremo mitenai
Kyuukutsu na kono sekai
omae wa tamashii wo utta
Hizamazuki tanoshikumonai no ni emi wo ukabete
Omae wa sono tabi ni nanika wo korosu
suri hette kizusuite
sore demo omae wa ikiteiku sa
Gin iro no sekai minamotte
Gin iro no tamashii mune ni himete
Gin iro no kami nabikasete
Gin iro no tamashii kokoro ni himete
I grow a backbone and start to live
It's easy to just talk but in truth reality is rough
Even if i feel tough and grow taller, the world is really dusting me aside
I urfurl my pride and start yelling out
It seems like u dont see anyone
the world is rigid, so u sold ur soul
u kneel and smile even though u are not happy
in the meantime , something dies
fading away and getting hurt
even so u continue to live
watching over this silver coloured world
hiding this silver colored soul inside
Flutteting silver coloured hair
hiding this silver coloured soul in your heart
Kuchi de iu no wa kantan, daga genjitsu wa kibishii.
Iki gatte senobishi te mo
Sekai wa sore wo tataki no mesu
PRide furikazashi hoeta tokode
Omae nanka daremo mitenai
Kyuukutsu na kono sekai
omae wa tamashii wo utta
Hizamazuki tanoshikumonai no ni emi wo ukabete
Omae wa sono tabi ni nanika wo korosu
suri hette kizusuite
sore demo omae wa ikiteiku sa
Gin iro no sekai minamotte
Gin iro no tamashii mune ni himete
Gin iro no kami nabikasete
Gin iro no tamashii kokoro ni himete
I grow a backbone and start to live
It's easy to just talk but in truth reality is rough
Even if i feel tough and grow taller, the world is really dusting me aside
I urfurl my pride and start yelling out
It seems like u dont see anyone
the world is rigid, so u sold ur soul
u kneel and smile even though u are not happy
in the meantime , something dies
fading away and getting hurt
even so u continue to live
watching over this silver coloured world
hiding this silver colored soul inside
Flutteting silver coloured hair
hiding this silver coloured soul in your heart
This is not the time to listen to Banjiya Blues, Kono Yaro!
Okay, for you ppl who knows what I'm going through today might be saying "Oi, sempat gik nya ber-blog ritok". Yeah.. I know, stress. Stress. Very stress. I mean, I don't see why. But I might be putting too much hope to this or maybe because it's been a long time since I last faced this, but whatever it might be, I will be facing it in about 4 hours time. (Sweaty palms....)
Again, I've been stopping myself from listening to Banjiya Blues today. (Bad omen!) Yeah. I'm a freak. Shoot me. I'm rambling now... I hope I won't ramble later. I hope to rumble though. Hahaha!! I must nail this. Whatever the outcome is, I should just be neutral about it. Or I'll be depressed for the rest of my life. (And I should go watch some soap later...)
Again, I've been stopping myself from listening to Banjiya Blues today. (Bad omen!) Yeah. I'm a freak. Shoot me. I'm rambling now... I hope I won't ramble later. I hope to rumble though. Hahaha!! I must nail this. Whatever the outcome is, I should just be neutral about it. Or I'll be depressed for the rest of my life. (And I should go watch some soap later...)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Update: Countdown :D
Well, I owe this to Take-kun. He's been asking about my current eyecandies/mansluts countdown. Hahaha.. It is disturbing when your only therapy failed you. LOL. (They are my sleeping remedy).
So here goes. Countdown!
10) Hei ( :D He should be in this list... )
9) Lelouch Lamperouge (OMG... I'm not a 'P'. I just love his character!)
8) Saotome Alto (OMG! Please... I need to watch the movie A.S.A.P)
7) Chiaki Shinichi (O_o....... Please. watch Finale)
6) Heiwajima Shizuo (He's just... too cool. Seriously. I love him)
5) Hijikata Toushiro~ (Oh goshh!! Don't ask me.. I don't have any good reason for this)
4) Onime no Kyo (Everytime I listen to the Drama CD, I will flail like a retard. lol)
3) Sebastian Michaelis! Yeay! (You're always at heart and will always be my #1 Manslut)
2) Date Masamune! Yeay! (You didn't move darling :D )
1) Sakata Gintoki! Yeay! (I'm so glad Gintama will continue! I cried when they say 201 is the last eps)
The Ultimate Number 1, Number 1... will always and forever be Rufus Shinra <3
So here goes. Countdown!
10) Hei ( :D He should be in this list... )
9) Lelouch Lamperouge (OMG... I'm not a 'P'. I just love his character!)
8) Saotome Alto (OMG! Please... I need to watch the movie A.S.A.P)
7) Chiaki Shinichi (O_o....... Please. watch Finale)
6) Heiwajima Shizuo (He's just... too cool. Seriously. I love him)
5) Hijikata Toushiro~ (Oh goshh!! Don't ask me.. I don't have any good reason for this)
4) Onime no Kyo (Everytime I listen to the Drama CD, I will flail like a retard. lol)
3) Sebastian Michaelis! Yeay! (You're always at heart and will always be my #1 Manslut)
2) Date Masamune! Yeay! (You didn't move darling :D )
1) Sakata Gintoki! Yeay! (I'm so glad Gintama will continue! I cried when they say 201 is the last eps)
The Ultimate Number 1, Number 1... will always and forever be Rufus Shinra <3
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Getting into the Blues....
Oh No. (Oh yes!) I'm seriously into the "Seishun Banzai" mode. Been listening to Banjiya Blues (Gintama OST) the whole week. It's like a driver to depression and then to more hopeful future. I have to get out of here as soon as possible. I don't think I can take another second in this position. Unfortunately, something is very very wrong with me. I can't make a move. Rather, the 'move' is very very slow. Everytime I think about returning to the current position, I will feel like crying a river, no... a sea.
I don't know how it all begun but I know I hate to be here. Maybe when I heard those words from ano kuso yaro, maybe then the trigger was pulled. I know I've been clinging on the rope for so long but I can never decide whether I should let go or still hold on to it despite the pain. I know. I'm pretty pathetic. I don't need a reminder. Sometimes I think of why I'm still here. Eventhough I told myself to only give it another year. This time, I'm pretty sure I cannot take it anymore. My soul is definitely crumbling.
I don't know how it all begun but I know I hate to be here. Maybe when I heard those words from ano kuso yaro, maybe then the trigger was pulled. I know I've been clinging on the rope for so long but I can never decide whether I should let go or still hold on to it despite the pain. I know. I'm pretty pathetic. I don't need a reminder. Sometimes I think of why I'm still here. Eventhough I told myself to only give it another year. This time, I'm pretty sure I cannot take it anymore. My soul is definitely crumbling.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Silver Ball... I mean.... Soul.
It's very rare for me to fall in love with an idiot. (Please narrow down the subject to a 2D character, thank you). Seriously, I've never (so far) liked any character that has no common sense, that picks nose whenever and wherever he can and thinks of his d*ck all the time. Yes. I love Sakata Gintoki. He makes me laugh better than human (oh no! I did not just say that!). I know those who are reading this now wonder who Gin-chan is and why oh why did I really like this baka. Well, ladies and gentlemen, sit back while I introduce you to my current addiction, Gintama!
Image: Gintama
Gintama (Gin Tama - Silver Soul) is a manga by Hideaki Sorachi and is currently still ongoing on Weekly Shonen Jump. Basically, it's about Edo which is invaded by aliens called Amanto and apparently these aliens overpowered the government, banned Samurais from carrying katanas and took over everything. However, the story focused on Gin-chan who runs the Yorozuya (odd-job Gin-chan! famous for his tennen-paama (natural permed hair)) together with his two comrades Shinpachi and an alien girl, Kagura. They would do any type of job for any amount of money.
Other characters include the Shinsengumi, lead by Kondou Isao who is also a baka and stalker that's crazy-in-love with Shinpachi's sister, Otae-san; Vice-Captain - Hijikata Toushirou a mayo-addict; 1st Division Captain: Okita Sougo - a natural DoS; the Spy - Yamazaki - who is a walking parody of Prince of Tennis, only that he loves badminton. And many2 others. These Shinsengumi are always seen chasing the infamous terrorist, the leader of the Joui, Katsura Kotaro. He was Gintoki ex-comrade during the Amanto's invasion and is always seen with his pet Elizabeth.
There are too much to tell about Gintama, you have to watch it for yourself. All I can say is, Gintama always makes my day. Whenever I feel like shit, whenever I'm happy, anytime, I would definitely do a re-run on Gintama.
P/s: I'm ALWAYS too lazy to explain about good things. So please. Just watch! Gintama is currently on Episode 195. Take your time to watch it. Trust me. It's Worth It!
Note: Image from Anime News Network
Image: GintamaOther characters include the Shinsengumi, lead by Kondou Isao who is also a baka and stalker that's crazy-in-love with Shinpachi's sister, Otae-san; Vice-Captain - Hijikata Toushirou a mayo-addict; 1st Division Captain: Okita Sougo - a natural DoS; the Spy - Yamazaki - who is a walking parody of Prince of Tennis, only that he loves badminton. And many2 others. These Shinsengumi are always seen chasing the infamous terrorist, the leader of the Joui, Katsura Kotaro. He was Gintoki ex-comrade during the Amanto's invasion and is always seen with his pet Elizabeth.
There are too much to tell about Gintama, you have to watch it for yourself. All I can say is, Gintama always makes my day. Whenever I feel like shit, whenever I'm happy, anytime, I would definitely do a re-run on Gintama.
P/s: I'm ALWAYS too lazy to explain about good things. So please. Just watch! Gintama is currently on Episode 195. Take your time to watch it. Trust me. It's Worth It!
Note: Image from Anime News Network
Friday, February 12, 2010
When Tigers ROAR!
Yeay! It's not new year until it's Chinese New Year!! This is my first post for the year 2010.
EDIT: okay.. so it's not the first post. I lied.
I realized that it had to wait THAT long. You know, one and a half months. What's that all about? I've been busy(-ing) myself with orchestrating a rebellion. But I was defeated by viral fever for a week so the rebellion had to wait. I'm pumped up this week so hopefully something WILL happen. (Praying hard). In the mean time, I'll update what's been happening for the past 1 1/2 months I was gone (away from the blog). And... not that there's anything much going on.
January, Dad's been forcing me into an army-camp-like training. It started when he dragged me out of bed because I think he realized that I'm turning into and 80 year old bottle of elixir. (Why elixir? Don't ask. I can't think of anything else that sounds 'old' and.... well... elixir isn't really a good example of 'rotten') The best thing about this training is that, my theory on "I can't run because I have asthma and my knees are suffering from something-I-don't-know-what-you-call-it" turned out to be FALSE! The real reason why I can't run is simply because I. AM. LAZY!
You know the saying, "You can do it, if you want to do it" ? Well, this really applies here. LOL.
During the army-camp-like training, I've only been living on yogurt and yogurt drinks. WHY you asked? Well, nothing in particular. (Not that I am PARTICULARLY afraid of food.. or anything like that). I mean, I think it's good to maintain a good diet while I'm actually having this training you know, not that I'm on a diet or anything like that. ( clears throat )
I guess that's pretty much it. The summary of 1 1/2 months. I can't seem to get myself to be like the usual. My body is still suffering from the aftermath of the viral fever and I'm currently fighting - hives. It's very rare to happen. Once it's there you'll feel like shedding a new skin. Night time would be the worst time especially the combination of being sleepy or/and itchy. Be happy if you're married or staying with a man. At least someones is there to help keep your mind away from the itchiness in many, many ways. Hahahah!!!!
Okay.. forget about it. The next post will be about something more entertaining!
Gong Xi Fa Chai 2010!! RAWRRRRRR!!!
EDIT: okay.. so it's not the first post. I lied.
I realized that it had to wait THAT long. You know, one and a half months. What's that all about? I've been busy(-ing) myself with orchestrating a rebellion. But I was defeated by viral fever for a week so the rebellion had to wait. I'm pumped up this week so hopefully something WILL happen. (Praying hard). In the mean time, I'll update what's been happening for the past 1 1/2 months I was gone (away from the blog). And... not that there's anything much going on.
January, Dad's been forcing me into an army-camp-like training. It started when he dragged me out of bed because I think he realized that I'm turning into and 80 year old bottle of elixir. (Why elixir? Don't ask. I can't think of anything else that sounds 'old' and.... well... elixir isn't really a good example of 'rotten') The best thing about this training is that, my theory on "I can't run because I have asthma and my knees are suffering from something-I-don't-know-what-you-call-it" turned out to be FALSE! The real reason why I can't run is simply because I. AM. LAZY!
You know the saying, "You can do it, if you want to do it" ? Well, this really applies here. LOL.
During the army-camp-like training, I've only been living on yogurt and yogurt drinks. WHY you asked? Well, nothing in particular. (Not that I am PARTICULARLY afraid of food.. or anything like that). I mean, I think it's good to maintain a good diet while I'm actually having this training you know, not that I'm on a diet or anything like that. ( clears throat )
I guess that's pretty much it. The summary of 1 1/2 months. I can't seem to get myself to be like the usual. My body is still suffering from the aftermath of the viral fever and I'm currently fighting - hives. It's very rare to happen. Once it's there you'll feel like shedding a new skin. Night time would be the worst time especially the combination of being sleepy or/and itchy. Be happy if you're married or staying with a man. At least someones is there to help keep your mind away from the itchiness in many, many ways. Hahahah!!!!
Okay.. forget about it. The next post will be about something more entertaining!
Gong Xi Fa Chai 2010!! RAWRRRRRR!!!
Monday, January 11, 2010
My heart is at my feet and I'm stepping on it
* typing ridiculous things because can't think straight *
I'm currently in a blank mode for I just did another unexpected and heartless thing but I guess on my side, I'm just doing myself a very, very, very big favour. I have to stop dreaming of wanting happiness the wrong way like doing things that don't give me any satisfaction. I'm just torturing my soul.
Believing is one thing. I honestly do give so much hope and faith to it, but things like this doesn't work one way. When I first decided on it, I knew it's too much to expect and I knew so well this is all bullshit.
I'm just way too complicated.
For that, I bid you farewell. This might really be the last time.
I'm currently in a blank mode for I just did another unexpected and heartless thing but I guess on my side, I'm just doing myself a very, very, very big favour. I have to stop dreaming of wanting happiness the wrong way like doing things that don't give me any satisfaction. I'm just torturing my soul.
Believing is one thing. I honestly do give so much hope and faith to it, but things like this doesn't work one way. When I first decided on it, I knew it's too much to expect and I knew so well this is all bullshit.
I'm just way too complicated.
For that, I bid you farewell. This might really be the last time.
Friday, January 8, 2010
.... and do you know who is the last one standing?
Well, well. If it isn't the hot topic of the week. I'm not going to mention what it is because i'm too tired to spell each and every one out for you people again and again. If anyone is curious, please read the newspaper or watch the current news on your local network (yes, that's our local network, here in this distorted country).
Due to the unavoidable case (because some people are just too bored and it's like if they don't mess up the whole country their life will not be complete and they won't be able to die in peace ) , here is what i've got to say.
1) I'm not going to be on anyone's side. Everyone and everything (which includes all living creature that share and breathe the same air) has their own opinion on everything. Therefore, because I'm not one of those people who think they are smarter than everyone in this planet * points finger at someone's back *, I'm just gonna say it as simple as possible. All the sawagi are useless. Seriously, did it make anything better? Self-satisfaction, yes. But not for everyone's sake, moron.
2) It's just sad to see how some circle can actually act like barbarians. And, their brain lags among all the thins in their body system. Act before think? This doesn't work in the 21st century people.
3) While we suffer from heartache and hatred and pain and everything that doesn't spell good, all of us (regardless from what religion or race) were actually dancing right in the palm of you know who.
I BET THE DEVIL IS HAVING A BLAST AND LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF RIGHT THIS MOMENT. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED ALL ETERNITY. THE FALLEN OF MANKIND. AND WE?
Human's heart is just an empty shell. We are the ones who filled it with evil.
Due to the unavoidable case (because some people are just too bored and it's like if they don't mess up the whole country their life will not be complete and they won't be able to die in peace ) , here is what i've got to say.
1) I'm not going to be on anyone's side. Everyone and everything (which includes all living creature that share and breathe the same air) has their own opinion on everything. Therefore, because I'm not one of those people who think they are smarter than everyone in this planet * points finger at someone's back *, I'm just gonna say it as simple as possible. All the sawagi are useless. Seriously, did it make anything better? Self-satisfaction, yes. But not for everyone's sake, moron.
2) It's just sad to see how some circle can actually act like barbarians. And, their brain lags among all the thins in their body system. Act before think? This doesn't work in the 21st century people.
3) While we suffer from heartache and hatred and pain and everything that doesn't spell good, all of us (regardless from what religion or race) were actually dancing right in the palm of you know who.
I BET THE DEVIL IS HAVING A BLAST AND LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF RIGHT THIS MOMENT. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED ALL ETERNITY. THE FALLEN OF MANKIND. AND WE?
Human's heart is just an empty shell. We are the ones who filled it with evil.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
When Grandma was here....
Grandma was here the last whole week. I was totally psyched about it and I totally had the best time ever. Not to mention, Yuuki-kun was sleeping over and we had the greatest time over the weekend.
When Grams was here,
Tomorrow night, Grams flying back to Kuching and I'm missing her already. =(
When Grams was here,
- My bed was never in the 'state of war'. It's always in the right angle. She can never let the comforter unfolded and the gazillion pillows all over the place. Not to mention, the many many DVDs and manga on the bed were gone. (luckily I found where she stashed it)
- My manga and anime DVDs were nowhere to be found.
- I don't get to watch Animax. She would conquer the couch and would force me to sit and accompany her to watch Robert Rainford do the grill. It was seriously fun.
- I forgot about the plans to watch Avatar and Shelock Holmes. So until now, I haven't had the time to go.
- She always want me to be on the dining table during dinner and not let me ate in front of the TV. BUT... when P. Ramlee was on, she herself was there. That's pretty funny. O_O
- I ate a lot. Because I was happy.
- We had "Durian Party" on New Year. And yes, I was the one who suffered the most from the smell.
- We made dinner rolls and bread together. The funny part was, when she couldn't make a circle and instead made a rectangular-shaped dinner roll!!! Both of us failed. Mom chased us out of the kitchen. But the bread turned out really good despite the many 'faces'.
- We had Western food almost everynight! (Darn AFC!)
- She watched P. Ramlee movies almost everynight. She forced me and Yuuki-kun to watch with her. But we ran to my room and did a long session of L'Arc~en~Ciel's karaoke.
- I tried my best to spend every minute with her because I love Grams... :)))
Tomorrow night, Grams flying back to Kuching and I'm missing her already. =(
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