Happy Birthday to Me!!

September 28th 1984 marked the beginning of the journey of life for a little baby girl, who was then name unknown. According to a very reliable source, it was approximately half an hour after 1 on a Friday afternoon when the baby first saw light and was born into this cruel, little world. Fortunately, the little girl was given life and was given a chance to live although surviving the first few months was difficult for her. Getting her little feet punctured everyday to get blood samples, getting fried under the morning sun and getting "artificially" tanned under the yellow bulb with high voltage just to keep the bilirubin level at normal state wasn't what she asked for or what she expected in life....

But oh well, what am I whining about. It's been 27 years since that happened. Happy belated birthday to me!!! It was a wonderful birthday. I get to celebrate it with my speacial someone this year. Been 7 years since the last time. Well, let's break down the birthday blog to 2 :D (I have a feeling it's going to be a long one =_=)


THE NOT-SO-FUN PART * A self realization theory and a path to change *:
So the first thing that roamed my mind when I woke up on September 28th 2011 was, "God still wants me to live! I've been given another opportunity to change my life" And then it occured to me, "What have I achieved in this 27 years? All life wasted? How about the past 5 years?" I realized something. I've achieved nothing. Nothing at all. At least to me, I've achieved nothing. I have dreams and goals. I want to achieve everything before I'm 30. Dream job, dream house, dream car, travel around the globe, a husband, kids. A normal but good life. After 27 years, I still have no freedom to do things that I want to do. I know what are the restrictions, but I can't do anything about it. It just sucks! But why complain? It's life. As much as you think you're living a shitty life, there are others who are living like shit. When I think I hit rock bottom, my righteousness crumbled. I suffocate. I think of nothing but dying, thinking that it would be easier
this way. Come on, seriously, once in a while people do have suicidal thoughts but then it was just fucking wrong. At least, we are reminded of death. Right. I am such an ass when it comes to struggling. I wondered what happened to the little baby who struggled so hard because she wanted to live so bad?

And so, Pumpkin and I watched the movie 'Bridesmaid' on my birthday. Although it's a normal chick flick, that movie changed my perspective in how I myself look at life itself. Like I said, I always think I'm living a shitty life. I think, life is mistreating me. I think I'm cursed. I always have the thoughts that, well, (I know this sounds soooo very wrong and sinful) God somehow, dislikes me. Whatever bad things around me was because, it's fated to be that way. I brainwashed myself into thinking that "It's meant to be. So I'm cursed". Oh yes, I emit negative aura and I suck it in again. It's been an endless loop for me. So, while watching Bridesmaid, I felt pity towards the main character. Her life was shitty! I hate everything about what I'm currently doing. At least, I wasn't unfortunate to be terminated and left on the sidewalk. I just didn't work
hard enough to change it. I knew it, yet, I did nothing. Or everything I did was just 'chutto hanpa'.

So after a self-realization, I decided to push myself to the limit. I mean, to the good stuff of course. LOL. This has to be a promise to myself. :D


THE VERY FUN STUFF * I am loved..... * :
My parents are not with me for my birthday this year. BUT...I get to celebrate it with someone special. My dearest Pumpkin. The day started with him picking me up from my house and sending me to work. Well, say hello to "I feel like an Ojousama". I got a gazillion (Ok, i lied. not a gazillion maybe about 70++) notifications on my Facebook. Birthday wishes from friends and relatives. Well, thank you Facebook for making people don't actually remember your birthday, instead depending on your notification. LOL. I took a half day that day and went back at 11:45am. Pumpkin picked me up from the station and then in the afternoon we went for lunch at Bumbu Desa ( Yes, I picked the place because i was craving for Authentic Indonesian Cuisine). Pumpkin wanted Tony Romas though =_= but, well, it was my birthday so I get to pick the place. Miahahaha.

The return-to-sender Sketchie. Returned full of love :D

Mom called me up at about 1:41pm because she said, the baby would be cleaned and dressed by this time on September 28th, 1984. LOL. She would never call me earlier than 1:30pm. Anyway, the first person who called me on my real birth time would be non other than my love <3 After Pumpkin, it was Momo. Awhhhhhhh (touched) Speaking of which, I would like to thank those who texted me on my birthday. It shows their sincerity. Namely, Chrys (even before 12AM of 28th with the excuse she might fall asleep) LOL. Nisa, who remembers too! And an unknown number. Thank you , whoever you are!

The ice cream cake at Baskin!!! Thank you dearest!!!

Later on, we went to the movies and also karaoke. In the evening, we celebrated my birthday at Baskin! Ice cream cake!!!!! :D I feel so loved~ After eating half of the cake at Baskin, we went back to my place with some cupcakes! Played with dry ice and created "magic" cup, then later on watched Juno. It was a wonderful birthday. Pumpkin made me feel 10 years younger!

The magic cup :D

Oh, so I thought it ended there. I was wrong. He called me up later and sang Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E. over the phone. * dies * Thank you Love for everything

Thank you everyone for the wishes and prayers.

Last but not least, for me, I guess my theme song for this birthday is by Muse - Invincible. It sorta lifted my spirit to not ever give up and to fight and turn around my shitty life into a better one! The lyrics especially. TT______TT Thank you Muse!!


Invincible by Muse