Getaway. Hideaway.

What makes someone feel useless?


Ah well, I feel that most of the time. Though I know it's bad for my mental health at least I don't have to be fucked up trying to impress every single living creature in the whole world. What makes me feel useless? First is when I'm at work. Give me 30 mins to solve a bug. When I can't figure it out, I'll have these thoughts in my mind "All the 4 1/2 years hard work are thrown in the gutter", "Ah... am I just plain stupid?", "Ah... Tennen baka dakara". And it goes on and on and on til I get a migraine, white-faced, feverish and waiting to explode. But it's only me, that's how i get my adrenaline pumping to solve something. When I feel used and abused.... Yeah. That's the worst. Being used is useless? yeah... Useless because I'm too nice. (Really now?)



What makes someone feels like shoving a broom up someone's a-hole?

• Being irritated is one.
• Other than that is being told of things I don't bother to know. You know, things like who are in American Idol or stuff. (Maybe it only works for an ignorant walking ball of wrath like myself).
• Other than that is, when I somehow (accidentally) bother about things or being concerned about anything and being shoved aside. That kinda hurt.
• Also, being cornered with bothersome questions when you know it's written all over my face "Do I look like I give a shit?". Hmm.. Oh... there are more.
• When an idiot actually made the biggest mistake in his/her life (a.k.a a smart ass in studies, an idiot in life, a total loser) tried to make me look miserable in front of the entire world.
• When someone talks too much about their brain and how smart they are and are quite talented of being a jerk half the time.
• and the list goes on...

I totally suck . . .

• at quarelling. When I'm being attacked with words, I'd be speechless
• at controlling my temper (Saint Angst?)
  
• when coming up with excuses and lying
  
• . . . enough already...

I'd be jumping up and down like an idiot and running around the house naked(feet)...

• when new SDK volume's at Kinokuniya
• when my anime list is updated
• when I bought new books/anime/manga

10 ways to quick cash:

1. newspaper routing?
2. garage sale?
3. sell your brother's skateboard collection
4. sell the XBOX
5. be a pusher?
   
6. break a leg and claim insurance (haahahha!!)
7. help your neighbour to mow her lawn
   
8. bake cookies?
9. sell your Gundam (desperate measures)
10. sell you baby brother/sister/niece/nephew

what a dope... Warning: Do not try all the above.

Mizu no sei da

I don't remember how many times it happened... but all I know is that it will happen every year. And last night, it happened again. It's total suicide I tell ya. It began with the feeling of hatred. The 'tap.. tap' sound ticked me off. I was busy preparing for today's lunch. However, the tapping sound really got me into 'killing mode'. As usual, when the killing mode is switched on, I'm a walking ball of wrath. I ran to the toilet and then "BAMMM". The next thing i know, I was on the floor, all wet in my pajamas.

Yeap. I slipped.

On Monda, Negishi told me that he's quitting. And he'd tender his resignation. I was damn sad. Seriously. My cubicle mate, my anime-mate. I'm gonna be totally bored when Negishi leaves. Tori-san told me that another colleague is quitting soon. There less than 10 people in the office now. How sad is that. I'm sure everyone will be in burakku moddo (BLACK MODE). Especially me.

Ah man.... I've lost my mood to write now..

Until next time.