Venting =_=

I'm not gonna deny how screwed up of a person I am. It's when I'm really in deep shit, only will I think of God. Not that I don't have Him in my mind and heart. Well, you know what I mean. For those who read this and think they are like me, well, we are human, as long as we realized it, we're ok. For those who read this and think they are not like me (which means, you think you're superior, awesome and pious) well, good for you, may you be like that for the rest of your life. Now, how many of you think life is unfair (ah... no need to throw popcorn)

They say, God gives you challenges and difficulties in life only when He knows that you can handle it. How and what you should do depends on you. Sometimes (most of the time, I mean) I can handle it well. But a triple combo buried me deep into the ground, I think it will take some time for me to get up and start walking again. Most of the time I feel used and abused. Sometimes, I feel blessed with people I have around me who supports me in everything I do and back me up when ever I'm in deep shit.

Sometimes, we can't stop people from labelling us or thinking we're some kind of an alien. It's what they call "Freedom of Speech". I was once called a "Venusian" by an unidentified microorganism (who isn't so human himself... jeez.. ). Sometimes I wonder, what I did wrong, so bad that it seems like the whole universe is going against me. (oh well =_= i think everybody feels the same. ) I've never felt so much hate and discrimination against me before. Who am I to complain when I have nothing at all and I'm just a mere human being who isn't as great as any other I know.

I'm not asking to be defended because I don't think I did anything wrong that I need someone to defend me. If God wanted me to be born this way, then does anyone has the right to question God's will?
If you question what is written in the book of fate, doesn't that make you go against God? I'm very disappointed, sad and depressed with the whole situation and I don't usually bother about it, but this time, it's a big thing for me.

Btw, on an unrelated matter, after 26 years, my mom still doesn't understand me. I'm disappointed. But well, by saying this, it must have sounded like I'm that kind of kid, you know. The Bad Kid Who Is Never Thankful For Everything She Got. blegh. See how people judge, from the outside. They never ask! They Assume. Now you wanna ask about the reason behind the rapid increase in statistics of educated individuals in mental institutions or suicidal cases in the world? You should know the answer already. Because no one listens.

Well I have to agree with the counter measure people take in avoiding these kind of cases like having those 1-800-call-me-if-u-feel-like-jumping-off-a-building care-line. But, what these people need is to talk and understood by people they love.

(Just to be clear,This is NOT a suicide note =_=) But I do feel like cutting it short is the simplest way to forget everything. More like, not living at all. Like Freddie said "Mama.... I don't wanna die, but sometimes wish I've never been born at all"

Happy Birthday Sayang and Happy 1st Mensiversary!!!!

This post is late! This post is 3 days late! hahahahaha!!!! I was busy with a lot of things but I would like to dedicate this post to my darling pumpkin! IRUDONO!!!!! Happy (belated :3) Birthday Sayang!!!!! <3

Also~ Happy 1st Mensiversary, Pumpkin =)

~ <3 ~