The sky isn't friendly today

I feel so dead. If I'm not sane (in which I'm almost at the limit) I would have just slit my wrist and die horribly and let my soul be damned eternally. Thank God, I have that 1% sanity left in me before I do something stupid like jumping off the 26th floor of my apartment or something like that. Sigh... you must be wondering "Why the solemn, deadly, suicidal talk?!" Don't worry, I won't do it. I don't have the guts to do it. Trust me.

I'm wrapped in despair. I think my brain is melting. My heart has gone dark. I'm lost.


. . . . .

Selfish brats should go home and cry to their mamas

I totally hate it! You know, when you treat people nicely, yet they still talk shit about you. Like complain about you to every single person they know (and you know) . It's just crap. How can such human being exist? After all you did (without asking for anything in return) they still talk like f*ck about you to others. Seriously, this type of people should go jump off a cliff or something.

This one person, I know all my life, likes.. no.. love to do these kind of things to me. So, I decided to never be nice to this person anymore. I don't care anymore that this person complain, talk shit, made me sounded like an evil witch to everyone in this world. I totally don't care anymore. I hope this person will leave me alone soon. (I know, soon is very soon) And I can't wait.

Follow The Arrow

I'm in the mood to write now. Eventhough I barely have anything in hand (or in my head) I just feel like writing. I felt a bit down though, I just came back from a few KM walk up the hills with my running partner, Ili. My Nike Trainees gave me a blister. Tch. And above all, I'm having a hard time coping up with my current financial crisis (not much of a crisis but to me it is) and I think I'm starting to hate my current state. (I know, both of those are not related with running. I just need to let it out)

I came home and sat in front of the laptop. I was glad I cleaned the bathroom this morning. (Quotes Gintama Episode 113: Washing the toilet is like cleansing the soul) I had a long aromatic shower. After the long aromatic shower, (yes, I have to emphasize on that) I put on some music. AND I opted for an English song. I saw Rosi Golan - Follow the Arrow in one of my song folders.

It finally cleared up the clouds in my head... a little

Life-update: The business that kills...

It's been a month since I last posted anything on Kyou no ato ni kyou nashi. Not to mention, other blogs which I was supposed to maintain. (Pfft.... so much for responsibilities). I'm not gonna go on "I've been soooooooooo busy lately that I forgot to feed my cat" thingy again, but seriously. My life has gone berserk.

It seems like I'm stuck in this pentagon (no.. hexagon? octagon?) called life where everyone else is facing it flawlessly (or not) but I know I'm not. I'm not sure if it's too late to say this, but even so, every now and then I'm stuck at the corner and I can't seem to find my way out. (Thus, the pentagon)

I've been busy doing all sorts of things (which also includes "orchestrating the rebellion") but with no avail. I mean I've been trying for the past 6 months (hahahah!! i think i did... maybe in 6 mnths I only tried twice or trice)

This one's gonna be a short one coz I'm also busy catching up with my anime. hahahaha!!

Just another update before I go, I'm currently training for KL Marathon 2010. Wahahaha!! I'm serious. Don't laugh.

Responsibility and Realization: The part where somebody should act like their own age

So, this is how it feels like to be sleepless all day long with a kid kicking your back because she wants to sleep comfortably in your bed and after a long day of not eating and not sleeping and with so many things happening. Yes, this is how it feels.

It's almost 5am. I thought I'll just keep myself awake until it's dawn and then go for my usual morning run. I can't sleep because my niece is next to me kicking her way for ultimate comfort. Can't blame her. I bet yesterday was the longest day of her entire 3 years of life. The part where she had to follow her parents and move away from her beloved nenek and atok. The part where her father was falsely arrested and it was a really weird incident. The part where her mom had to deal with all the craziness with the extra 3kg in her tummy. Everything seems like a lie. Too bad it's reality.

How about the person who was dragged along? Does anyone ever thought of what they feel? I bet noone does. Because it's insignificant. The insignificant grew to be a necessary existence.

Entropy At Work: Why Do I Read Manga?

I've reached the quarter century mark in my life but I'm still a kid at heart ( I still haven't grown my 4 wisdom teeth okay). I love watching Anime, collecting gunpla, collecting Anime DVDs, buying and reading Japanese magazine of which only related to Anime stuff [for now] (which 3/4 of the time needs my full attention on drooling over 2D characters with rare poses and another 91/4 to translate what was written in it) and above all would be buying and reading Manga. Sometimes I wonder why do I love reading Manga so much? I love reading books but Manga has extremely drool-able and nose bleed-able bishounen characters visual aids.

Here are some (what I thought) good reasons:

1).....
2).....
3).....

Really.. I just can't give any REASON why I love reading Manga. Do I have to have a reason for it? If you love something, just go and grab it!

P/S: This post is rather stupid. But Who Cares?! :D

I'll recommend some good Manga in the next post.

Translation:
bishounen - extremely beautiful (yes i mean beautiful) young men
manga-ka - artistes that draw manga

Banjiya Blues FTW.

I've been listening to Banjiya Blues after the u-know-what. So I've picked up the lyrics and translation. Here goes:

Sesuji no bashi ikiteiuku
Kuchi de iu no wa kantan, daga genjitsu wa kibishii.
Iki gatte senobishi te mo
Sekai wa sore wo tataki no mesu
PRide furikazashi hoeta tokode
Omae nanka daremo mitenai
Kyuukutsu na kono sekai
omae wa tamashii wo utta
Hizamazuki tanoshikumonai no ni emi wo ukabete
Omae wa sono tabi ni nanika wo korosu
suri hette kizusuite
sore demo omae wa ikiteiku sa
Gin iro no sekai minamotte
Gin iro no tamashii mune ni himete
Gin iro no kami nabikasete
Gin iro no tamashii kokoro ni himete

I grow a backbone and start to live
It's easy to just talk but in truth reality is rough
Even if i feel tough and grow taller, the world is really dusting me aside
I urfurl my pride and start yelling out
It seems like u dont see anyone
the world is rigid, so u sold ur soul

u kneel and smile even though u are not happy
in the meantime , something dies
fading away and getting hurt
even so u continue to live

watching over this silver coloured world
hiding this silver colored soul inside
Flutteting silver coloured hair
hiding this silver coloured soul in your heart