Year End: Update on the Kakkois :D

I have a new eye-candy!!! Andddd he is Saotome Alto of Macross Frontier. OH MY GOD!
I know I'm very very very very late to realize this... but at least I do now..... My year-end quote is.... "I WANT ALTO ON MY WALL!!!".

Yes.. I missed buying the calender for 2o10 and it is now out-of-stock. And somehow... they don't reproduce Calendars.... O_O... pelik rite?

Anyway,
update on eyecandies/mansluts for Year 2009.

1) Saotome Alto (of course...)



2) Date Masamune.... (sorry Masamune-sama!)



3) Onime-no-Kyo


4) Sebastian Michaelis


5) Kuchiki Byakuya (O_O??? Why??? Because he looks cool in the Zanpakutou fillers)




I can go on forever... but i better stop now.

Anyhow... to everyone, A very Happy New Year. May 2010 be a great year for all of us!!!


Happy New Year 2010!

My reaction?

UPDATE: Life at the end of the Year 2009

1) It's been crazy lately. With my ever-changing moods and the indecisive heart and mind. And the ever-changing thoughts and ideas. And the work. And the relationships, friendships. (skinship?? hahah. i just wanted to type that.) I've been an ass to myself and to everything and everyone. But I never put any subjects of why things have been that way out of sight. And anyone who knows me well know that I'm the one who remembers shitty things that have been done to me and shitty things that I do or did to ppl.

2) Work. Oh Work is just Work. It's never changing. Work can never be less. Work is always and will always be work.

3) Lately, I have been spending a lot of time with myself. I miss that. I always try to find time to pamper myself n I really needed that. Especially when people I am (was) close with are (were) not around me (anymore).

4) I'm not very responsive to anything now. My "No-Feeling-Disease" has been worst. Even towards my boy-friend. (ok. there is a meaning to why there is a "-" there)

5) The fact that I planned on going back to Kuching has been changed to a hateful desire. Hahahah!!!

6) My Samurai Deeper Kyo's collection is almost complete. Another 2 more volumes (or another tankoubon) . But we (the SDK manga collectors of English Version) are disappointed with the missing covers for Volume 36. (T_______T)

7) Don't worry, when I can find time to write about 2009 review, I will write. For now I'm too busy with so many things. I remembered someone asked me "What are you so busy with??" Well, unlike you who has sooooo much free time, I'm different. I'm putting a fullstop to that so that another big stupid argument will not happen.

8) This year, I was given a few year planner for free. I mean. Last year I had to buy them. O_O

9) Grandma is here. Again. :D

10) I'm doing something to my hair again before the new year. Why? Because I am bored with it.

Responsibility and Realization

I found something interesting in my "Journal Collection". One of them is titled as Responsibility and I didn't even post it to my blog. (I think I did not). Anyhow, This is something to ponder.

"Would it be so wrong to admit that I am swimming in the sea filled with wonderful feelings, colourful emotions, the sea that promises no heartache, and even if I drowned in it, I will never regret ever living in it? I have never felt that way before. I am not sure whether this statement is correct but from my point of view, there is no such thing as a wonderful life. Even if there is, at some point everyone will at least face the steel bar, or the great wall of life and to get through it will require a great sacrifice. Right now, I am wandering about, not knowing where to go, still not satisfy with life and currently bound to admit to reality. Sitting here having a cup of hot coffee after a long shower, reminiscing. Sometimes I thought living this life could be as simple as reading a book (which reminds me that I need to go to Book Castle to get some paperback). Obviously, that thought is so wrong, but unfortunately, nobody tells us that as we walk this road, we crumble, we fall, we cry and we have to get up by ourselves. And nobody is there to help us.

Let’s talk about responsibilities. What is my responsibility as a human being? (aside from the responsibilities that I have towards God). Which reminds me of what my kawaii little foster brother, Addin had said to a man he saw loitering about after he did his Friday prayer.

Addin: Are you a Muslim?
The man: Yes.
Addin: What is your God’s name?
The man: Allah.
Addin: Isn’t it your responsibility to go for Friday prayer? Why didn’t you?
The man: (speechless)

(Note: Addin is only 7 years old and yes, he talks like an adult. Sometimes he does piss me off with his stories of ancient Romans and the ancestors including World War and Napoleon Bonaparte)
I would seriously kill myself after hearing that from a 7 years old kid (or on the other hand I would kill the kid instead for reminding what an ass I am). His dad (Addin’s dad that is) was speechless too and had to apologize to the man. Hahaha.. I thought that was a funny story after hearing it. But then again, it really hit me. And it made me realize that life is too short to be so careless and irresponsible. But it is still funny though, don’t you think… (really laughing my head off right now).

Actually, I miss my life as an undergraduate student. I want to go back. I realized that is the time I can really ‘lepak’, watch anime, download movies, sleep and the only responsibility I have is towards myself. Now that I’m done with school (gosh… this really reminds me that I’m OLD), I can’t have as much fun as I had in university. There are always rules to break and being carefree in university is the best feeling I have ever had (Warning: Do not be carefree while you’re schooling. It will only get you in trouble. Dame yo. Zettai Dame!).

I have another 7 years before I’m 30 (am I thinking too far?) and I possess and unusual fear of growing up and settling down (and of course I’m running away from this fucked up responsibilities that I happened to be involved with undesirably). Doesn’t it sound sick to know that others' mistake is your responsibilities? I’m not ready to have big responsibilities and it’s not what I want after having a long undesirable life (23 years is considered as long, you know)."

Okay... I just realized that was written over 3 years ago... LOL!!! But whatever...

A little something for the heart...

I have this routine of going out every morning on weekends to Starbucks to have breakfast just to feed my eyes with cute baristas get my ass out of the house. (And please... the first reason is totally valid). Starbucks used to have super hot and cute baristas. Cute baristas is the main attraction of Starbucks. LoL. Okay. I'm kidding about that. Starbucks have a range of coffees and teas which are superbly delicious. Not forgetting the juices and the snacks. OMFG. Now I know why I love going here.

Putting that aside, last Friday we had a blast at Eja's Hen Night Party. It was supposed to be a night in (and out) with a few girls but it turned out to be the original four. Nevertheless, it was a wonderful night. We had Domino's and chickens and deserts and Bruno. Owh.. Bruno. I can't really comment on that. One of us suggested that it was the closest to Male Stripper we can get. LOL. Yeah... It was. But after the show, we were desperately looking for another movie to neutralize our mind.

I haven't had a good time since Bon Odori 2009. Well, I guess you can say it depends on who you hang out with. And if those bunch are the ones who really understands you, then spending time with them will be the best.

I still owe myself a cake for my birthday. LOL.

And in November, I plan to visit someone (who is currently holding the 'taisetsu na hito' place in me). Yeah yeah. A couple of 'taisetsu na hito' has gone missing. The fact that these people think that I can't understand them well is well... so true. Because I don't. And I don't care anymore.
I want to be random again. Since I got the news that I'm terribly sick, I think I should not think about being sick or the fact that I'm sick. LOL. It will only hold me back from doing all the good2 things I can do in life. So, since the doctor said that I should be well soon. I should be all genki and be happy. Rite?


Enjoy life to the fullest!

Arigatou

This week's been great for me. I haven't been updating this blog since... forever... Hahaha... Anyways, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my beloved for the birthday wishes, presents, treats. I seriously had a blast (and blessed) with all of you! I've been really busy with work and all to the extend that I don't even have time to check my facebook. O_O

Anyhow, this is just a short entry. I'm too lazy to write anything now. hehehe...

Shinra's Curse

It's fairly normal for me and the rest of my family to talk about nonsense and laugh together after break-fast. By then, I'd be really stuffed with food and water that I can't even breath what more to say laugh my head off. Somehow yesterday night wasn't really normal and wasn't really fine with me. We were talking about getting old and yet again, my mother never seize to remind me about getting married, have kids and stuff. She kept reminding me that I'm turning 25 another year older by the end of this month.

I was a bit disturbed by that statement. You know. I told my mom, if there's anything God would give me as a sign of aging I'll accept wrinkles but not having some foreign colour hairgrowth on my head. Very picky aren't we? Well, I love my hair. I don't mind it having ONE of a different colour from the original as in the whole head, but not one or two or three of different colour sticking out from the whole head. So my mom (in her joke tone) said "What if there is one or two growing on your head now". I confidently replied, "Well, that can't be happening. I'm still young." And she stood up and started flipping my hair layer by layer. AND...

Image: Shinra's Curse

There it was, the discovery of the thin platinum protien filament that actually grew (was growing) on my head without me realizing it. Chrys said Shinra's curse is contagious. It's either that or I'm turning into Sephiroth~

The Hero

Though it's a bit too late to say this, Happy Merdeka to all Malaysians. I had a wonderful weekend during the short break and I was at home hanging out with my family. On Saturday, I was out with Haha-ue and we were supposed to shop for Raya, but it seemed like I was more fond on buying books and non-raya related stuff. Anyhow, as we were talking in the car about Independence day and such, Haha-ue came across the story where Chichi-ue cheated death. I never thought about Chichi-ue being some sort of a hero to me. I honestly think that Chichi-ue was just someone who could sit at home and watch TV all day long and it kind of pissed me off all the time. I never want to think about him ever being one of the many soldiers that protected his nation. I never did. Even though he used to tell me stories about those times when he was in the army, I couldn't care less. Until I heard about this.

So it goes something like this,

It was years back, probably in 82 where I wasn't born yet. Chichi-ue was posted in Sibu and Haha-ue was in Kuching. Sibu, that time was the hotspot for comunists. Haha-ue said, everyday when the heli arrived, there would be dead bodies. Or at least one. And that time, she kept on asking where Chichi-ue was, but they keep on telling her that he was at base. It lasted for weeks, until Chichi-ue returned. Haha-ue still didn't know that Chichi-ue was actually in the battle until his batman (some sort of a butler, this person shines shoes, irons clothes, do all trivial things for Chichi-ue) told Haha-ue that one of Chichi-ue's comrade died in his arm. Chichi-ue was supposed to be leading the platoon and was supposed to be up front but one of his men told him to switch places with him and let him be in front. A few steps after, the man was shot and he died in Chichi-ue's arm. I only thought these kind of things only happen in movies, but when I asked Chichi-ue, he said that it is something that he could never forget. I asked him, what was the man's last word. Chichi-ue said, "Please take care of my family". I was totally stricken by this. I wanted to cry. Because this man had to die to protect his superior, his comrades, his country.

And then it occured to me, Chichi-ue was there too. All the time before I was born in this world and after I was born. He was one of the many many soldiers who protected this country. He was there and was faced with death all the time. Nobody knows when the bullets will come at you. Nobody knows when the person you walk with will get shot. Nobody knows who will die next or when they will die. Nobody knows. Chichi-ue is a brave and strong man. Of course he is, if he's not around, who's gonna drive the baka hebi and the boge saru away from the house? Who's gonna carry the heavy groceries from the car? I realized now that I never have thought about it in this perspective and I've always seen Chichi-ue as someone who does nothing. I know. Boku wa warui ko da ne. Chichi-ue wa tsuyoi hito, yasashii hito da. Boku no Chichi-ue wa kono kuni no eiyuu da. Boku no hon mono no eiyuu da. Kansha suru yo.