I just got back from my short (but awesome :D) holiday, in my hometown. I've never thought a four-day trip could be so relaxing. Maybe I just needed some time for myself. But then again, I never really get to relax. Since Day 1, I was occupied with so many things, not to mention I was caught in a plan I never knew about. Although I didn't get to do many of my own things, I'm happy I get to spend time with almost all of my branch family members. And oh, did I mention the food? :D I enjoyed this trip so much, I even slept in the car because of exhaustion every end of the day!
Laksa Bowl: Yes, it's empty :D
At least, I get to spend some time with Ryl, Debra and Cyn. (Thanks Ryl for the car. I lap you!) Hung out with Chrys at Bing. Had post-birthday celebration and Meat-Fest at Hornbill Steamboat and Grill, Mee Merah (uber-delicious red Noodle at Uncle Lim), Laksa Sarawak, Kolok Mee at Ah Lai, Damit Satay (pun: be damn by the skewers. haha) I swear I gained at least 10 pounds. * runs *
Satay Damit (Not DAM*ED)
This is what we're talking about! The real shizz y'all! Uncle Lim's Mee Merah wOOOt!
When I arrived in KL, I was so excited to see Pumpkin that I left a box of Salted Terubok Fish, a bag of cheese sticks, a whole bag of awesome chicken snacks and my favourite black sweater at KL Sentral D: I know.. You don't have to say it, I am the Goddess of Clumsiness and Carelessness. I received a good scolding from Mummy the next morning. =_=
Not gonna type much but, here are some of the photos from the trip :D
Hello Steamboat and grill ( and 100 poundsss)
Dusk: Late journey to Sematan
Dawn: Late night and early rise at Sematan
Satok Wet Market: Reminded me of the late Atok
O-miyage! Photos of Fat Patches and Yukki!!!!!!!
This has got nothing to do with the trip but I miss Patches (our house-cat in Kuching) and I also wanna introduce you to my new baby, Yukki! :D
Fat Cat: Patches. She's in Kuching. Patches!! I miss youuuuu
My baby: Yukki loves to be pampered to sleep =)
P/S: I will write my book review soon. I promise. sigh...
September 28th 1984 marked the beginning of the journey of life for a little baby girl, who was then name unknown. According to a very reliable source, it was approximately half an hour after 1 on a Friday afternoon when the baby first saw light and was born into this cruel, little world. Fortunately, the little girl was given life and was given a chance to live although surviving the first few months was difficult for her. Getting her little feet punctured everyday to get blood samples, getting fried under the morning sun and getting "artificially" tanned under the yellow bulb with high voltage just to keep the bilirubin level at normal state wasn't what she asked for or what she expected in life....
But oh well, what am I whining about. It's been 27 years since that happened. Happy belated birthday to me!!! It was a wonderful birthday. I get to celebrate it with my speacial someone this year. Been 7 years since the last time. Well, let's break down the birthday blog to 2 :D (I have a feeling it's going to be a long one =_=)
THE NOT-SO-FUN PART * A self realization theory and a path to change *: So the first thing that roamed my mind when I woke up on September 28th 2011 was, "God still wants me to live! I've been given another opportunity to change my life" And then it occured to me, "What have I achieved in this 27 years? All life wasted? How about the past 5 years?" I realized something. I've achieved nothing. Nothing at all. At least to me, I've achieved nothing. I have dreams and goals. I want to achieve everything before I'm 30. Dream job, dream house, dream car, travel around the globe, a husband, kids. A normal but good life. After 27 years, I still have no freedom to do things that I want to do. I know what are the restrictions, but I can't do anything about it. It just sucks! But why complain? It's life. As much as you think you're living a shitty life, there are others who are living like shit. When I think I hit rock bottom, my righteousness crumbled. I suffocate. I think of nothing but dying, thinking that it would be easier this way. Come on, seriously, once in a while people do have suicidal thoughts but then it was just fucking wrong. At least, we are reminded of death. Right. I am such an ass when it comes to struggling. I wondered what happened to the little baby who struggled so hard because she wanted to live so bad?
And so, Pumpkin and I watched the movie 'Bridesmaid' on my birthday. Although it's a normal chick flick, that movie changed my perspective in how I myself look at life itself. Like I said, I always think I'm living a shitty life. I think, life is mistreating me. I think I'm cursed. I always have the thoughts that, well, (I know this sounds soooo very wrong and sinful) God somehow, dislikes me. Whatever bad things around me was because, it's fated to be that way. I brainwashed myself into thinking that "It's meant to be. So I'm cursed". Oh yes, I emit negative aura and I suck it in again. It's been an endless loop for me. So, while watching Bridesmaid, I felt pity towards the main character. Her life was shitty! I hate everything about what I'm currently doing. At least, I wasn't unfortunate to be terminated and left on the sidewalk. I just didn't work hard enough to change it. I knew it, yet, I did nothing. Or everything I did was just 'chutto hanpa'.
So after a self-realization, I decided to push myself to the limit. I mean, to the good stuff of course. LOL. This has to be a promise to myself. :D
THE VERY FUN STUFF * I am loved..... * : My parents are not with me for my birthday this year. BUT...I get to celebrate it with someone special. My dearest Pumpkin. The day started with him picking me up from my house and sending me to work. Well, say hello to "I feel like an Ojousama". I got a gazillion (Ok, i lied. not a gazillion maybe about 70++) notifications on my Facebook. Birthday wishes from friends and relatives. Well, thank you Facebook for making people don't actually remember your birthday, instead depending on your notification. LOL. I took a half day that day and went back at 11:45am. Pumpkin picked me up from the station and then in the afternoon we went for lunch at Bumbu Desa ( Yes, I picked the place because i was craving for Authentic Indonesian Cuisine). Pumpkin wanted Tony Romas though =_= but, well, it was my birthday so I get to pick the place. Miahahaha.
The return-to-sender Sketchie. Returned full of love :D
Mom called me up at about 1:41pm because she said, the baby would be cleaned and dressed by this time on September 28th, 1984. LOL. She would never call me earlier than 1:30pm. Anyway, the first person who called me on my real birth time would be non other than my love <3 After Pumpkin, it was Momo. Awhhhhhhh (touched) Speaking of which, I would like to thank those who texted me on my birthday. It shows their sincerity. Namely, Chrys (even before 12AM of 28th with the excuse she might fall asleep) LOL. Nisa, who remembers too! And an unknown number. Thank you , whoever you are!
The ice cream cake at Baskin!!! Thank you dearest!!!
Later on, we went to the movies and also karaoke. In the evening, we celebrated my birthday at Baskin! Ice cream cake!!!!! :D I feel so loved~ After eating half of the cake at Baskin, we went back to my place with some cupcakes! Played with dry ice and created "magic" cup, then later on watched Juno. It was a wonderful birthday. Pumpkin made me feel 10 years younger!
The magic cup :D
Oh, so I thought it ended there. I was wrong. He called me up later and sang Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E. over the phone. * dies * Thank you Love for everything
Thank you everyone for the wishes and prayers.
Last but not least, for me, I guess my theme song for this birthday is by Muse - Invincible. It sorta lifted my spirit to not ever give up and to fight and turn around my shitty life into a better one! The lyrics especially. TT______TT Thank you Muse!!
How did I come across this book? Well, there's this app in my phone called Kobo eReader and from this app, you can actually buy amazing eBooks or even download them for free! I'm not sure if they have this for iPhone or Blackberry. Now, let me tell you something amusing. I have an amazing Android smartphone, HTC Desire HD. It has an amazingly huge (for a phone, of course) 4.3" touch screen and it's perfect for me who have problem reading small fonts. LOL. It runs on Android version 2.3.3 with HTC Sense version 2.1. Technical wise... I don't think I bother too much about it. But what's important is, it's easy to use, very friendly and the best part is, most of the apps are free! (Now, now, I know I've been using this phone for over 9 months and I only bother to talk about it now.. ) Again, let's go back to the eBook that I'm currently reading.
Basically, I've only read Chapter 1, and it's intriguing, I can tell you that much. I've not read the synopsis too coz you know what they say, don't judge a book by it's cover (well, literally and technically, the synopsis usually is written behind the book =_=) From what I've read so far, the story revolves around a successful and beautiful woman named Taylor Steele who has a desire to conceive a child but not get tangled up in a thing called marriage. The thing is, it's not just about shagging up and get knocked up by anyone. Taylor Steele has been eyeing on a potential father for her child and he is non other than the most eligible, rich, good looking Dominic Saxon. Her plan is to have this "business proposition" presented to Dominic in which she believes that they both have the same goal, for her to conceive a child and for him to father a child and by this she plans out a trip to the Caribbean solely for the purpose of ...... okay, enough preview.
If you want to read more about this, get the book. Or if you have an Android phone, you can conveniently download it from the Reader app for free :D I will continue reading it after work. Hehe. Enjoy!
Again, Happy Birthday Google!! Tomorrow will be my turn! :D
I haven't blogged in a while! D: Hello there readers! (Of course, to those who actually read my blog, not that I write interesting things) Anyway, it was a tiring weekend for me. When I said tiring, I do really mean exhausting, energy-draining, soul-sucked-out-of-body kind of tiring. Well, sometimes some things don't turn out as we plan. Like what we have scheduled will sometimes be overlapped with unforeseen circumstances. Not like we want it to be that way. At least for me, I managed to pay my SCREAMyx bill, got a new wireless modem (and yet, it still doesn't work D:), helped my mom bought brooches for her business at "god-foresaken" Jalan TAR, visited and took care of my sick nieces and nephew, took care of my little cousin and her sister for one night, play with my cat and spend a little bit of time with my boyfriend. What I meant to say was, being next to him physically but soul out lingering in dream world. Poor baby =(
Okay, so it seems like my life was a bit upside down at the moment. Not a bit, but a lot. I am trying to keep myself sane, trying to fix it. Not like I haven't tried, but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I haven't try hard enough (oh come on....)
Long story short, I'm trying to save up for the 'future'. I'm not gonna say the exact word here because, we don't know what God had plan for us. (us, meaning to say, everyone in general. lol. ) I'm looking for a new placement, somewhere where I can actually boost up my potential instead of just being stagnant. Another 2 more days to my 27th birthday and honestly, I think I have achieved nothing in life. I kept on saying, I've tried! But, I think I never really did. Sometimes, it's easy to just express myself with writing shit like this, as if it's some kind of self-motivation experiment. But, I never get motivated at all!! hahahah!
So I thought, "Hey, what the hell" Life goes on eh. I hope I'll get an opportunity soon. On a side note, my cat, Yukki is so adorable. Will post up some pics of him later :D
It's been 3 years since I last came back for Raya in my hometown. That was like 2008 and well, it was the first time we celebrated Raya without my late Grandfather around. And well, it was a solemn Raya, if I remember correctly. LOL. Like they say, old, sad memories are to be buried deep, deep inside of us.
Well, this year, I'm home. I guess it's the same feeling as "being home for Christmas". Although the Raya feel is not as exciting as how it used to be, but being around family and relatives are the best feelings I guess. (Although, I missed Pumpkin the most)
Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all. Maaf zahir dan Batin :D
I'm not gonna deny how screwed up of a person I am. It's when I'm really in deep shit, only will I think of God. Not that I don't have Him in my mind and heart. Well, you know what I mean. For those who read this and think they are like me, well, we are human, as long as we realized it, we're ok. For those who read this and think they are not like me (which means, you think you're superior, awesome and pious) well, good for you, may you be like that for the rest of your life. Now, how many of you think life is unfair (ah... no need to throw popcorn)
They say, God gives you challenges and difficulties in life only when He knows that you can handle it. How and what you should do depends on you. Sometimes (most of the time, I mean) I can handle it well. But a triple combo buried me deep into the ground, I think it will take some time for me to get up and start walking again. Most of the time I feel used and abused. Sometimes, I feel blessed with people I have around me who supports me in everything I do and back me up when ever I'm in deep shit.
Sometimes, we can't stop people from labelling us or thinking we're some kind of an alien. It's what they call "Freedom of Speech". I was once called a "Venusian" by an unidentified microorganism (who isn't so human himself... jeez.. ). Sometimes I wonder, what I did wrong, so bad that it seems like the whole universe is going against me. (oh well =_= i think everybody feels the same. ) I've never felt so much hate and discrimination against me before. Who am I to complain when I have nothing at all and I'm just a mere human being who isn't as great as any other I know.
I'm not asking to be defended because I don't think I did anything wrong that I need someone to defend me. If God wanted me to be born this way, then does anyone has the right to question God's will? If you question what is written in the book of fate, doesn't that make you go against God? I'm very disappointed, sad and depressed with the whole situation and I don't usually bother about it, but this time, it's a big thing for me.
Btw, on an unrelated matter, after 26 years, my mom still doesn't understand me. I'm disappointed. But well, by saying this, it must have sounded like I'm that kind of kid, you know. The Bad Kid Who Is Never Thankful For Everything She Got. blegh. See how people judge, from the outside. They never ask! They Assume. Now you wanna ask about the reason behind the rapid increase in statistics of educated individuals in mental institutions or suicidal cases in the world? You should know the answer already. Because no one listens.
Well I have to agree with the counter measure people take in avoiding these kind of cases like having those 1-800-call-me-if-u-feel-like-jumping-off-a-building care-line. But, what these people need is to talk and understood by people they love.
(Just to be clear,This is NOT a suicide note =_=) But I do feel like cutting it short is the simplest way to forget everything. More like, not living at all. Like Freddie said "Mama.... I don't wanna die, but sometimes wish I've never been born at all"
This post is late! This post is 3 days late! hahahahaha!!!! I was busy with a lot of things but I would like to dedicate this post to my darling pumpkin!IRUDONO!!!!!Happy (belated :3) Birthday Sayang!!!!! <3
Laksa Bowl: Yes, it's empty :D
Satay Damit (Not DAM*ED)
This is what we're talking about! The real shizz y'all! Uncle Lim's Mee Merah wOOOt!
Hello Steamboat and grill ( and 100 poundsss)
Dusk: Late journey to Sematan
Dawn: Late night and early rise at Sematan
My baby: Yukki loves to be pampered to sleep =)
