Venting =_=

I'm not gonna deny how screwed up of a person I am. It's when I'm really in deep shit, only will I think of God. Not that I don't have Him in my mind and heart. Well, you know what I mean. For those who read this and think they are like me, well, we are human, as long as we realized it, we're ok. For those who read this and think they are not like me (which means, you think you're superior, awesome and pious) well, good for you, may you be like that for the rest of your life. Now, how many of you think life is unfair (ah... no need to throw popcorn)

They say, God gives you challenges and difficulties in life only when He knows that you can handle it. How and what you should do depends on you. Sometimes (most of the time, I mean) I can handle it well. But a triple combo buried me deep into the ground, I think it will take some time for me to get up and start walking again. Most of the time I feel used and abused. Sometimes, I feel blessed with people I have around me who supports me in everything I do and back me up when ever I'm in deep shit.

Sometimes, we can't stop people from labelling us or thinking we're some kind of an alien. It's what they call "Freedom of Speech". I was once called a "Venusian" by an unidentified microorganism (who isn't so human himself... jeez.. ). Sometimes I wonder, what I did wrong, so bad that it seems like the whole universe is going against me. (oh well =_= i think everybody feels the same. ) I've never felt so much hate and discrimination against me before. Who am I to complain when I have nothing at all and I'm just a mere human being who isn't as great as any other I know.

I'm not asking to be defended because I don't think I did anything wrong that I need someone to defend me. If God wanted me to be born this way, then does anyone has the right to question God's will?
If you question what is written in the book of fate, doesn't that make you go against God? I'm very disappointed, sad and depressed with the whole situation and I don't usually bother about it, but this time, it's a big thing for me.

Btw, on an unrelated matter, after 26 years, my mom still doesn't understand me. I'm disappointed. But well, by saying this, it must have sounded like I'm that kind of kid, you know. The Bad Kid Who Is Never Thankful For Everything She Got. blegh. See how people judge, from the outside. They never ask! They Assume. Now you wanna ask about the reason behind the rapid increase in statistics of educated individuals in mental institutions or suicidal cases in the world? You should know the answer already. Because no one listens.

Well I have to agree with the counter measure people take in avoiding these kind of cases like having those 1-800-call-me-if-u-feel-like-jumping-off-a-building care-line. But, what these people need is to talk and understood by people they love.

(Just to be clear,This is NOT a suicide note =_=) But I do feel like cutting it short is the simplest way to forget everything. More like, not living at all. Like Freddie said "Mama.... I don't wanna die, but sometimes wish I've never been born at all"

Happy Birthday Sayang and Happy 1st Mensiversary!!!!

This post is late! This post is 3 days late! hahahahaha!!!! I was busy with a lot of things but I would like to dedicate this post to my darling pumpkin! IRUDONO!!!!! Happy (belated :3) Birthday Sayang!!!!! <3

Also~ Happy 1st Mensiversary, Pumpkin =)

~ <3 ~

Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me

Good Morning World! It's 7:38am and I have to admit, it's too early to wake up because it's a Sunday! It's a beautiful Sunday!!!! Anyway, I just got back from Ipoh, a random adventure I must say. LastFriday at 4pm I suddenly felt like buying a one way ticket to Ipoh because I missed that certain someone really bad. (Of course he wasn't amused with the whole thing after being trolled. LOL. Sorry dear) I stayed at Mama's (PsychoKuukie) place on Saturday morning (yes, morning), hung out with her for a while and then killed time at Jusco Kinta City, playing Wordsearch at Coffee Bean while waiting for that certain someone to finish work =)

I've never done this kind of things before. LOL. I'm a poor unromantic and hahaha, after yesterday, I promise I will not do this kind of things anymore without telling him. (I don't wanna come between a man and his plans =_=) Ah well, what's done is done.

Btw, hahahaha I actually wanna post this song for that special someone. (And for everyone else, enjoy this song because Bon Jovi is damn hot awesome. XD

You've never heard of Green Day (LOL. Good Riddance is a song)

THIS POST IS LONG OVERDUE =_=

It kinda surprised me that some people think of themselves as God. Okay maybe the way I put it sounds wrong. Put it this way. It kinda surprised me that some people just can't forgive. Some people think the world revolves around them not the other way around. Some people can hate others like it's their job. Some people are so sexist that they didn't even realize they are born from a mother, which is a woman. Some people are... ( creatures unclassified).

This is not a rage post, it should be categorized under "Realization and Respect".

Lately, I've been busy living the best out of life and yes, I have found my source of happiness (omedetou soshite, omedetou to me). And God knows what I have to go through to achieve this. In the process, I've been heartbroken, crushed, re-lived, crushed again for many, many times and yet, it's the same person that I almost gave up upon that made me happy til today (thank you dear =)). Somehow, as we gain, we lost. I lost a friend along the way (well, if you put it in a way that won't sound mean, this person was a friend, at least, I thought he was).

I've always thought a person who talks shit about others by not confronting them are fuckers and has no balls (if he is a male, and not a she-male, that is). I also hate people who talk shit about other people in their blog and tell "unfortunate" tales about themselves by vomiting vulgar words and playing "victims" in the eyes of people who don't know them. But most of all, I hate people who are cowards and can only yap in the back but turn into dried plums when confronted. No. More like, running with their tail between their legs.

So this one person (non existence?) talked about "that certain someone" in his blog twice. TWICE. yeah, talk about being clingy and all (told u he still sayang you, dear. LOL. J/K) Was he that upset about "that certain someone"? if he is, then why not tell him in his face?! Coz blogging about it doesnt help, really. Talking shit about others behind their back only happens in high school, between 14 years old GIRLS. Also, if you don't like/ don't favour "that certain someone", you don't go deleting others that are associated with them, if you think the others are your friends. Wait, you don't have friends do you? Because you hate humans? Oh, and you also hate FEMALES because we're from VENUS, right, we're aliens. How can I forget that fact! D:

So this Non-Existence, thought of me as a friend, but not anymore. Because I'm in a relationship with "that certain someone" and he said, I showed him the side of me that he doesn't know. hahahahahaah!!!! Which side of me DO YOU KNOW? Did you even know me at all? This is so funny really, it all started that particular day. If I remember what happened that day....

1) Non-Existence called me the night before "that certain someone" asked me out and asked me why I agree to meeting with "that certain someone" when i hate "that certain someone" so much. Here's news for you Non-Existence, I FORGIVE PEOPLE ALTHOUGH THEY DID SHIT TO ME BECAUSE I'M NOT GOD AND I'M A MERE HUMAN BEING. I can't judge people and decide they are scums like you did.

2) I showed up at a certain cafe with "that certain someone" and didn't know Non-Existence was there. And according to some ppl who were there, he KNEW "that certain someone" was coming so he waited. Question: If you HATE "that certain someone", then why did you wait for his arrival? Because you loved him so much that you wanna create a shoujo manga scene and make me look like I'm the bitch who stole your boyfriend? Because u wanna play victim? Because U wanna be Ts-Tsu-Tsundere?! YOU FAIL! He stormed out of the cafe and he didn't even talk to me.

3) Non-Existence blocked me from Twitter and also others who are associated to me and "that certain someone" because he was heartbroken wait, wait he thinks he is Zeus and can erase ppl from the surface of the Earth. But of course, he can dream that doesn't sound right either. Because He IS AND EMOTARD. Come on, I'm not surprised anymore. This is not the first time he blocked me from Twitter. Friends don't do that. Scums and assholes do. If you think of me as a friend, you should talk to me instead of coming up with your bloody idea of "She's a bitch and she's in a relationship with the guy that I hate. So I hate her too". Don't pass judgement like you're a God.

By the way, you don't have to hide behind the Internet to talk shit about me or anyone. Just tell me to my face. You put the word "fuck" next to my name. You said you HATE me. Oh well. And Oh, why did u think I'm using this method as well, because I just wanna know how scums like you think. Now I realize, YOU DON'T THINK! Your mouth/hands move before your Brain does.

Last but not least,

Dear Non Existence, you just became a girl. Congratulations. Make a contract with Kyuubey (wait, wha-?)

foreveralone.jpeg ? * clicks delete *

I have to at least blog this.

03/06/2011 = infinite happiness.

Because I finally get to say it and I've found my source of happiness =)

Have a great weekend everyone.

Happy x 10000000000 gazillionssssss

I've been sick for 3 days =( nevertheless, I'm still happy. When I fell sick on Tuesday, I was still working my butt off at the office. Blegh. Me and work. I couldn't lift my finger anymore after 4pm and decided to go home. When I reached home, I was sleeping like a log sick person should be and I woke up at 1:30am. Ah shucks. 10 minutes later I received a text message that defined 'happiness' =)

Still, I was sick the next day. Went to work and stayed for 1 hour and was asked to go home because my face was too pale. Slept almost the whole day. And I took the day off today too just to make sure I fully recovered.

Flu and cough still lingers and my throat sorta killed me a bit. Nevertheless, tomorrow is Friday and Friday means Happy Day! =))))

Happy x 100000000000000000000000000000000000 hundreds thousands millions billions trillions zillions :DDDDDDDDD

P/S: I rewatched "She's All That". Love Rachael Leigh Cook and Freddie Prinze Jr.
Here's the infamous OST by SixPence None The Richer. Reminded me of my high school life. 1999 y'll. I was only 15 back then! XD

It started out as...

"It started out as a feeling...
which then grew into a hope...
which then turned into a quiet thought...
which then turned into a quiet word...
And then that word grew louder and louder til there was a battle cry... "
- The Call (Regina Spektor)

I love the lyrics in this song. It gives me courage to go on and fight my so-called 'battle' :D
This song is one of the OST for The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, sung by Regina Spektor. If you're wondering "Where in the movie was this song played?" Well, it's in the end where the 4 siblings had to go back and when the hot Prince kissed the ugly older sister.

I believe the words are true. I'm currently riding on the wave of happiness. I just hope it will last long :3 At least, I am happy... for now :3

Are you the source of my happiness? <3